Why Living Up To Expectations Is Wrong
“If you spent your life concentrating on what everyone else thought of you, would you forget who you really were? What if the face you showed the world turned out to be a mask… with nothing beneath it?”
None of us are required to live up to the expectations of others but there’s that little voice inside of us that tells us if we don’t, then we’ve failed at life. Not only is this untrue but it can be harmful to our inner psyche. You have no obligation to do what anyone else wants you to do. instead, you need to do things from the heart that inspire you and make you happy, not others.
The problem with expectations is… they get in the way of life’s experiences. You don’t need that type of pressure because God has put your pathway in front of you to determine where you go in life. This reminds me of a quote by Raymond Hull that states: “He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.”
Are you living your life the way you want to live it? Are you still allowing others to manipulate your destiny according to their will?
Your inner voice or intuition calls you out for life’s adventures. It knows you, it knows your thoughts and it helps keep control over your life and decision making. When you hand over that control to the expectations of others, you eventually lose respect for yourself and forget what makes you happy.
Do you own your own life?
That’s the problem that follows you around when you try living up to others expectations. You don’t learn from your own mistakes and end up following along someone else’s misguided path filled with the remnants of bad decisions and regrets.
So, what should you do next?
Letting Go Of Expectations
“Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and
he will become as he can and should be.”
If you live life stuck with expectations, you will never get out from reaching your true potential. Only you have the right to find your own happiness. Expectations place limits on us and life is not about limits but about shattering those limits and becoming the best you can be, No one can take that away from you!
Others may want to define you according to their own terms but you must serve yourself. Let go of both your expectations and those placed upon you and create your own reality. In the end, you either become a prisoner of other’s opinions or you live in a world where you live and die by your own decisions.
Your own expectations can be sidetracked and if they go wrong, you then make excuses for not getting where you want to go. If you worry about what others think, it becomes easier to make excuses. That is why insecure people do everything they can to meet expectations placed upon them and get caught up in self betrayal.
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” – Carl Gustave Jung
How to stop self betrayal?
Compassion for yourself is your first priority. Others won’t have the same compassion for you and that is the worst form of self betrayal. Your uniqueness won’t lock you into trying to please others just to live up to expectations set for you from past failures.
Breaking Expectations Of Others
“Expectations were like fine pottery. The harder you held them, the more likely they were to crack.”
In life, nothing is easy but others make it so much harder for you when they try to control your actions, Whether intended or not, the words others use can have monumental consequences . They force us to pretend to be someone we aren’t until we lose both our authenticity and our identity.
You need to put your foot down and follow your dreams. Even if people mean well, they can’t see how they are hurting you. The key is to return to your innocent self and regain lost dignity.
Look into the mirror. Do you like what you see?
If not, then it’s time to go back and see that you have unique gifts to offer the world. Speak your mind and align your beliefs and values with your ethics and if they don’t match then its time to break the expectations others have over you.
According to author Jane Powell, from MeditationsForWomen.com, puts breaking expectations in perspective by stating, “Trying to live your life by the expectations of others disconnects you from your own desires. It leaves you feeling empty and unmotivated. The gratification that comes from fulfilling the expectations of others is very little and short-lived.”
That is why it is so important to to be aware of your surroundings. What are people trying to convey to you? Do they put you at ease or do they pressure you with their opinions and feelings?
Here Are 3 Things You Need To Do To Break The Expectations Of Others
- Find your passion and go with it. Don’t let others take your passions away.
- Have a strong character. Mix it with good values and you can live a life filled with integrity and power.
- Live with a purpose. That purpose will drive you to not only meet your expectations but overcome them.
How To Live Without Expectations
“Don’t lower your expectations to meet your performance. Raise your level of performance to meet your expectations. Expect the best of yourself, and then do what is necessary to make it a reality.”
When you cultivate self acceptance, you don’t need to have any type of expectations at all to be successful. Releasing expectations helps let go of outcomes. This way, you are not bound to what happens. Instead, you make your own outcome.
Focus on the present. It’s all you have and the more you live in the past or worry about the past the harder it is to overcome expectations. Focus on releasing people and situations from your expectations. That way, they can’t influence both your decision making abilities and your emotions.
Your expectations are undermining your happiness. In order to find happiness, you must not have any expectations at all. Break the cycle of desire and attachment and expectations diminish. Every day, we thrust expectations of all kinds on ourselves and the people we come in contact with. The more we live in the now and allow tomorrow to take care of itself the easier it is to live without expectations.
Let me end by quoting Steve Jobs when he says, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it by living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogmas – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”
Don’t let others rule your life with misguided expectations. Instead, follow your own heart and make your own way in the world. Even if you fail… pick yourself up, learn from your mistakes and success and happiness will follow!
Want to know how you can end all expectations and live the life God gave you?
You can find it in my #1 bestselling book on Amazon.com entitled “Summoned To Love – A Spiritual Blueprint For Rediscovering Inner Peace, Unconditional Love, And True Happiness.”