The Secret To Gaining More Confidence
“Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it.”
Dorothy M. Neddermeyer
All of us at one time or another have had self confidence and self esteem issues. Building up your low self esteem profile takes some work but with the measures I’m going to teach you, it will help you gain confidence in your abilities and give you a chance to maximize your self worth.
Some people have a great self image. They are confident in their approach to life and don’t let problems ruin who they are. But then there are others who have lived their whole life with a debilitating sense of self worth and suffer from thoughts of inadequacy in every type of situation. This can lead to a dangerous cycle where they continued with negative self-beliefs which creates an unconscious pattern of behavior. This behavior is continuously reinforced in that person’s mind and they spiral out of control.
For years I felt like I wasn’t good enough but a near fatal car accident cured me of that. Believing I was special in God’s eyes gave me the courage to overcome my self defeating thoughts and use my talents to help those who needed it the most.
How To Gain Self Confidence When You Have None
Don’t you dare, for one more second, surround yourself with people who are not aware of the greatness that you are. “
Here are some ideas you can use to help you change the conversation in your head and begin seeing yourself the way God sees you.
1– Start using positive words in your conversations with others. The more positive your talk is the more you will start to believe and we all know that the difference between high and low self esteem comes from a lack of positive self confidence.
2– Surround yourself with positive people. The late Jim Rohn, one of the greatest self help speakers of all time one said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Who are you spending your time with and are they a positive or negative influence on you?
3– Do things that make you happy. Research shows that when you are doing something you love, you feel great about yourself, and about the world around you. If you get stuck in the same old 9-5 lifestyle, break out of it by doing something fun and exciting. Look at what makes you happy and make that an integral part of your life.
Recognizing Negative Thoughts and Belief Patterns
“Noble and great. Courageous and determined. Faithful and fearless. That is who you are and who you have always been. And understanding it can change your life, because this knowledge carries a confidence that cannot be duplicated any other way.”
Sheri L. Dew
It is all fine and dandy to just try to change your low self esteem issue but you must recognize those negative thoughts and belief patterns that got you there in the first place.
People who suffer from low self esteem actually display behaviors and actions that cause them to fail willingly. Your overall level of self esteem is based on how you deal with situations in life. Those that can’t handle situations become easily discouraged and are scared and anxious most of the time.
They consistently find themselves facing chaotic and dangerous relationships which leaves them very defensive when dealing with people. They have a negative impact on family and friends while expressing an“always or never” belief system.
They exhibit far reaching conclusions as they constantly interrupt others as well as blaming themselves for every little thing that happens. They focus on the pain and pessimism of life while seeing every possible outcome as a catastrophe.
I remember looking at everyone else’s life and thinking they were always so much better than me and wishing I could be just like them but those thoughts were based on irrationality and not in fact. I’d look at myself in the mirror and hate what I saw even though others made nice compliments about how I dressed or how great a shape I was in.
The thing was, I was always seeking the approval of others instead of seeking God’s unconditional love. Only then did I see myself as worthy of being loved.
Identifying Your Positive Qualities And Putting Them To Good Use
God made each one of us with special qualities that give our life meaning. We need to accept those qualities and make full use of them to make a difference in the world. The reason why you haven’t become the person you want to be is not because of not being good enough or that you don’t measure up to others… it comes from you lack of faith in yourself and in God.
The longer you allow yourself to wallow in low self esteem, the more you are cheating yourself of a happy and successful existence.
What qualities do you have that can make a difference in other people’s lives? You see, it’s not always about us but what we can give to to others that makes us unique.
On a piece of paper, write down 4 or 5 things you like about yourself. Try not to dwell on the negative aspect of your life but on positive, self affirming things that lift you up. Think about all the good things that have happened to you such as good relationships, memorable occasions and fun activities you’ve experienced.
Look for ways to make those good times a daily habit. Seek out friends you “have your back” and are trustworthy. Good friends make us feel good about ourselves and help us get through both the good and bad times.
Boosting Your Confidence And Becoming A More Assertive Person
“We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies.
People who have self esteem problems usually are not very assertive. They tend to shy away from confrontation and look to avoid anything that will challenge their confidence. This type of behavior can easily be changed but the person must be will to trust in themselves and start taking chances.
I fully understand the reasons why most people are afraid to jump out of their comfort zone. The fear of failure, of being laughed at or even the fear of rejection can haunt people for years and years but you need to remember this; God loves you so much and has given you a purpose. So often, we think we can run our own lives better than God can and when we fail, it can send us into depression or force us to shy away from even the slightest bit of uncomfortableness.
How do you boost your confidence and become more assertive?
1– Plan and prepare for the unknown. The better prepared you are for problems that arise, the easier it will be to overcome them and gain confidence that you can do anything you put your mind to.
2– Combine you knowledge with the right training and you will always be confident you can handle any situation.
3– Learn how to articulate your needs and wants. According to psychotherapist Joyce Marter, LCPC, “Assertiveness involves advocating for yourself in a way that is positive and proactive,” The more passive you are, the less likely you are to be confident in you abilities.
4– Realize your past does not equal your present or future life. What happened before should have no bearing on what happens today but many people use that as an excuse to to avoid failure. You are not your past and the more you realize you can rewrite your present and future, the more confident you can be that you have control over what you do, think, feel and believe.
Low self esteem does not have to ruin your life. There are ways to change how you feel about your self.
How do you go about changing the way you feel about yourself?
You can find it in my #1 bestselling book on Amazon.com entitled “Summoned To Love – A Spiritual Blueprint For Rediscovering Inner Peace, Unconditional Love, And True Happiness.”