How To Improve Your Self Esteem With These 7 Powerful Secrets

improving self-esteem

Improving Your Self Esteem

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.” 
August Wilson

How many of us suffer in silence from low self-esteem and self worth problems?

I, for one, have suffered my whole life and have bravely fought to banish my inner demons. At this time, I can finally say, without any reservation, that I have conquered those demons. It wasn’t easy and it took every ounce of my being to to overcome those deep beliefs and now, I want to help you overcome your feelings of inadequacy and give you a firm foundation to stand on.

Here are some questions I want you to ask yourself right now about your own belief system.

  1. Are you happy with who and what you are today? Don’t reserve your love for when you reach your goal of losing weight, getting a better job or finding the right partner in life.
  2. Do you base your level of self worth on how others have treated you in the past? Remember, the past is gone. You don’t have to relive it anymore. What happened yesterday has no bearing on today unless you let it.
  3. Do you recognise the difference you make around you? How often do you look at the difference you make in other’s lives. As humans, we tend to worry about our own situations and how we feel but if you reverse the thought process and see how you affect others you’ll have a better understanding of your place in this world.
  4. How often do you complain about things in life? I used to be one of those people who never stopped complaining, I complained about my job, my bills, everything I lacked instead of being grateful for what I have. My advice is to stop complaining and start being grateful. Learn to appreciate what you have because it could all be taken away as quickly as you got it.
  5. Do you know who you really are? This is more than just a philosophical question. It gets to the root of your very being. Who we want to be is less important than who we really are. It all starts with being authentic. Stop hiding the real you because you want to impress others. The Greek philosopher Aristotle, who lived between 384–322 BC, once said:Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”

Wisdom is the key word here. The more you know about yourself the easier it is to root out the underlying causes of your self-esteem problems.

Before I unveil the 7 powerful secrets to having high self-esteem and self worth, let’s tackle the main problem I see that does more harm than good in getting people to feel better about themselves.

5 Self-Esteem Myths That Sabotage Your Self Worth

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”
 Buddha

Let’s start off by breaking down some harmful myths about self-esteem and self worth and why most people get them all wrong.

Myth #1 – You Need To Be Worthy Of It – Having healthy self-esteem has nothing to do with being worthy. No matter what you do in life, you are worthy enough to be loved. It’s not a prerequisite for obtaining self-esteem nor is it something you need to acquire. If you are not popular or well-liked, it doesn’t mean you are not worthy of that love and care. Many times, the other person/people are going through their own problems and are apt to take it out on you

In Jeremiah 29:1, we are told,For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

God tells us that he has plans for us and we should be hopeful in His love. Does that sound like a God that doesn’t think you are worthy of His love? Not al all. So please drop that from your thought process.

Myth #2 Self-esteem comes from being successful – This idea is taught by most people in the medical field and it is a downright lie. You are not measured by how successful you are and you don’t need to measure your own success. In fact, you don’t even need to be successful to have self worth.

God created every one of us to be something special. In 1 Samuel 16:7, God shows us what is really important to Him. “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

It’s important to note that God’s love doesn’t depend on how rich we are, how good looking we are, nor how important we are. He looks far beyond those petty things and it’s something you need to as well!

Myth #3 – Self-esteem and confidence aren’t the same thing – This one idea bugs me more than any other myth in that we are told that the more confident we are the better our self -esteem will be. Just because you are confident does not mean you have high self worth. What happens when your confidence is shaken? Does that mean your self-esteem slips as well? Stop linking the two together. Instead, understand the concept that confidence comes from your belief in your own talents skills, and abilities and how ell you do them. Self-esteem is rootes in how we feel about ourselves at the inner core of our being.

Krizia Loquido, the health & lifestyle editor at Verily states in her article, 5 Myths About Low Self-Esteem You Need to Forget, “Some of the most powerful people in the world are totally confident in their career capabilities, while other areas of their life are riddled with anxiety and unhealthy relationships that stem from low self-esteem.”

I’m not saying you shouldn’t focus on being confident in your own abilities but don’t equate them with how your feel about yourself.

Myth #4 – Obtaining things will elevate your self-esteem – Getting what you want is never a cure for self-esteem issues. Ever felt buyer remorse? That gut feeling you made a big mistake in your purchase. Too often, people acquire things as a way to compensate for what they lack in self love but things cannot make us feel better about ourselves.

A great example of this happens on Christmas morning. Watch kids open their presents and you will see them go crazy with happiness for what they received but check back in a week or so and they’ve abandoned most of the toys and gifts. Why? It’s that high we get at the start but the high never lasts.

Myth #5 – Self-esteem is based solely on what we do and how we behave – If this was the case, then everything we do, say and feel is based on our behavior. When our behavior takes a nosedive then so should our self-esteem. Our lives would be one crazy rollercoaster ride if this was true but it isn’t.

Dr. Christina Hibbert writes, “If our worth is based on our performance or behavior, then we are bound to feel poorly about ourselves when our performance or behavior drops; and it will drop—it’s human nature. We are more than what we do and how we behave.”

Now that we have the myths out of the way, we can focus on the 7 powerful secrets I have learned from years of study, from making a million mistakes myself, and from watching others.

The 7 Powerful Secrets To Improving Your Self Worth

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”
– Lucille Ball

Do you want to improve your self image and feel better about yourself? Of course you do but you’ve probably read a million books on the subject, listened to a ton of so-called “Self-help gurus” who had more charisma than knowledge and still your self worth is in the toilet.

Well, I’m going to give you the truth about improving your self-esteem from all my years fighting to feel good about myself.

Here they are:

Secret #1 – You Are Loved – Admit it. Do you really feel loved? If you knew how much the world loved you you would never feel bad about yourself again. But the problem is, do we really believe it? That was my problem for a good many years. I thought no one cared about me, no one appreciated me, nor understood the real me.

It was all an illusion my ego put over me like a blanket. Until I felt that love, I couldn’t believe it. Then God showed me a love so powerful it shook me to the core. It changed everything inside me. It finally made me whole. I wasted so many years feeling sorry for myself, wasted so much time thinking about things that didn’t matter, and wrestled with so many fears that it paralyzed my ability to function as a normal human being.

Once you open up your heart to love, all those fears and self debilitating thoughts will disappear and the real feelings of self love will shine through! I’m a living, breathing example of this!

Secret #2 – Love First Ask Questions Later – The title comes from a Ringo Starr song of the same name off his 2003 Ringo Rama album and it perfectly encapsulates what life is about. Why are you so worried about everything under the sun? Just give love. It doesn’t matter how much you give but that you give it in the first place.

We are all part of a beautiful world that God has given us. Why fight about things that have no meaning? We’re so worried about what others have, what others are doing and how much they make that we can never live up to the comparisons we make it our minds.

Love is the most important thing we have. Not just for others but for ourselves. If you spend more time thinking about acquiring things and not loving the real you inside you’ll never improve your self worth and you’ll always be unhappy.

Ephesians 5:29 tells us, “For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church.” Be the example of love you can be and allow that love to fill your heart. That’s all that is required of you.

Secret #3 – You are not your daily circumstances – Since when do circumstances define who you are? If you let them then you will always feel ashamed of yourself, blame others for your failures, and be locked in a life and death struggle for control of the real you.

Author Beverly D. Flaxington makes the point that “Life is more random than we’d like to think. It’s important to develop an air of objectivity, and to learn to step back from what happens and observe it as an outsider.”

That’s a key point I don’t think many people pick up on. You have to stand back once in awhile and see things from a different point of view. Don’t look at yourself from your own eyes but from those of an outsider. No judgments, no negative comments, just an air of total honesty.

Be honest with yourself without resorting to comparisons. The truth may hurt but it gives you a place to start and that’s all you can ask.

Secret #4 – Focus on what you can change in your life – How much time and effort have you wasted worrying about things you can’t change? You’ve allowed these things to break your will and crush your soul. You have to understand you can’t change the past, you can’t change others… you can only change yourself.

Once you understand this you can put all that wasted energy into something positive for yourself. You will have less stress, you will feel better about yourself, and you will unclog your mind of all the garbage that worrying has imprisoned you with.

Focus on the positive things in your life and what you have power over. Don’t let others hold power over you. You’ll end up like a puppet. Cut the strings and empower yourself. Be the person you want to be not what others want you to be.

As soon as you release the chains everything changes. If you like being chained to misery be my guest but I’m guessing you want to be set free. Take my advice… put your focus on what really matter in your life… YOU!

Secret #5 – Unlearn what you have learned about yourself – If you have ever watched the Star Wars movies, you know how poignant Yoda can be. One of his greatest lines from the movies was this, “You must unlearn what you have learned.”

Why is this line to important to your self-esteem? People with low self-esteem tend to believe every negative thing about themselves. They see things about themselves others don’t see while at the same time, making up things that become real to them.

What you need to to do is go back into your past and start unlearning those different behaviors, thoughts, and actions that keep you bound in chains. All those things you think others see or say about you are not important. The things you feel and experience are important but they are in the past. Today is a new day.

Wipe the slate clean and begin by honoring the good things about you. Open your heart the beauty that is all around you. Don’t cling to what is negative or distressing. Instead, appreciate what has happened to you and see that it is a part of you, not all of you. Your past doesn’t define you.

Learn how to treat yourself with respect and dignity. Look at the real you in the mirror and marvel at the beauty God has made. All these things were probably last on your list before but now it’s time to see yourself in a new light.A new door has opened up for you.

2 Peter 1:5-11 tells us why we are a new person in Christ.

“For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities[b] are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to confirm your calling and election, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall. For in this way there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

You have no reason to have low self-esteem anymore. God has made you a new person in Christ. That is your miracle. Now go out and be all God has envision for you!

Secret #6 – Eliminate self-criticism and introduce yourself to positive self-compassion – Everyone has an inner voice. Problems arise when the inner voice decides it wants to run your life. Most of the time, your inner self talk is makes you believe you’re not good enough and throws reason after reason why you should believe it.

Self-criticism is akin to beating yourself over the head with a hammer. It never does any good and it hurts like hell! I live by this one rule: Treat others as you would have them treat you. So why in the world would I mistreat myself if I’m treating others as I would like to be treated?

It doesn’t make sense yet we allow ourselves to be beaten up by our own egos and left to rot on the side of the road. No one is as hard on ourselves as ourselves. Read that again. It’s so true as we are our own worst enemy. We blame others for our own problems yet we beat ourselves silly criticizing every move we make.

Take it easy on yourself and give yourself a break. You’re not as bad as you make yourself out to be. In fact, I know you’re a pretty good person inside. You just don’t believe it.

What needs to be done?

Start being more compassionate with yourself. If things happen and you get hurt, get back up and use the power inside of you to succeed. You have everything you need to live in this big world. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop blaming yourself for everything that happens, and stop trying to get others to feel sorry for you.

I hate to say it but suck it up! It’s never as bad as you make it so be more compassionate towards yourself and start loving yourself more. I know, easier said than done but you have to grow up and work on feeling good about yourself.

If you can’t then you deserve all the misery you pile on to yourself.

Secret #7 – Face your fears head on – Nothing works better at boosting your self-esteem than getting into a fight (no, I don’t mean a physical fight). What I’m talking about is forcing your ego to come out and deal with it’s fears. You’ve got to make a stand, one way or another. Your self worth is going to stay in the toilet unless you fight for it. And yes, sometimes it may feel like a life and death struggle but you gotta do what you gotta do!

Inner turmoil is normal for most people but unless they get pissed off enough, they’re always going to stack stuck behind their own prison bars.

Most professional will tell you to stroke your ego and do things that make you feel good but not me. This is a war and war calls for drastic measures. Unless your willing to fight nothing is ever going to change!

Below is an infographic with some great tips in dealing with low self-esteem. Try your best to incorporate them into your daily routines.

10 Tips to Deal with Low Self Esteem

From Visually.

In conclusion, sometimes it sucks being you but most of the time it doesn’t. I’ve been where you are right now and I’ve suffered a great deal including depression and low self-esteem but there’s always hope.

It doesn’t come from others. It has to come from deep within you. You have to open up your heart and let love in. Love yourself first and foremost because no one else will if you push them away.

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How Far Could You Go In Life If You Had No Limits?

no limits in life

The No Limits Way Of Thinking

“You will find that there are no limits to what you can accomplish except for the limits you place on your own imagination. And since there are no limits to what you can imagine, there are no limits to what you can achieve.”
Brian Tracy

How far could you go in life if there were no limits put on you by the rest of society, by your family, by your friends and especially by your own mind?

We live in a world that puts limits on everything we do. You hear it all the time from people when you tell them what you want to do with your life.

Here’s a few examples I’ve heard from my own past experiences.

  • Why do you want to do that for?
  • You’ll never make any money doing that!
  • How can you do that if you’ve never finished college
  • Music will never pay the bills. Why don’t you get a real job.
  • Stop playing around and get serious with your life.
  • You, a writer? You must be joking!

And my all-time favorite which reverberates throughout my soul…

  • You’re not good enough to compete with all the great writers. You’ll just be wasting your time.

There is nothing you can do or say that can stop you from doing something magnificent with your life unless you decide you can’t do it.

Henry Ford, the iconic founder of the Ford Motor Company and the person responsible for developing the assembly line technique of mass production knew no limits in his own life. What he couldn’t do by himself, he found others to make his dreams come true. The one quote that still echoes through my heart and spurs me on everyday is this.

“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.” Henry Ford

Your mind plays the biggest role in how far you get in life. It takes you where you want to go but it can also limit you and keep you from ever achieving the greatness you deserve.

Are you living your life by someone else’s rules? You may think you aren’t but society demands we play by its rules or we have no chance at happiness. It favors those who become part of the collective but life isn’t like that.

You need to look at what makes you happy. You need to listen to what your heart is telling you not your parents, guidance counselors, friends or family. They don’t walk in your shoes nor do they have to deal with what you are dealing with.

Find Out Here

You can soar like the birds or you can fall flat on your ass. The choice is yours. I don’t need to tell you what you are capable of doing. You know deep down in your heart what you want to do… the problem is doing it!

I believe you have to live your passion. That burning desire in your heart must resonate or it will do you no good.  Use your god-given talents and skills and share them with the world.

Be bold! Be confident in your abilities because no one else will do it for you.

But, what if I can’t?

What if there are too many obstacles?

Keep reading… and I’ll show you what you can do!

Overcoming Obstacles That Limit Us

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.”
George Bernard Shaw

What is holding you back from achieving greatness?

Do you blame others for your failures or do you own your life?

As a life coach, I see too many people get defensive about what has happened in their lives. They tend to blame others for their circumstances and use it as an excuse for failure.

Want an example of someone who lived his life with no limits?

How about the late, great Bruce Lee?

Bruce was one of my all-time greatest heroes. He pushed himself beyond what most people could take. Why was he able to accomplish so much in such a short period of time?

Did you know he was laid up for many months because he injured his back to such a degree that he could hardly walk? The injury led him to delve much deeper into the both the spiritual and mental belief aspect of martial arts.

Part of his philosophy regarding his Jeet Kune Do was that of using guided thoughts. He believed that in order to fully express oneself, one must” “have no limitations.” It’s a philosophy that is foreign to many as most people put limitations on themselves.

Bruce went beyond that type of thinking. Hie describe his philosophy as a mirror in which to “see ourselves.” He believed we needed to cast off what is useless. Whatever was unessential needed to be removed so that what remained could be used to better one’s self.

When you look upon life as having no limits you lose the rigidity that society dictates. It allows you to be fluid and able to adapt to any situation that comes your way. Bruce believed strength comes not just from the physical side but how you control the mental aspect of your being.

Here are three quotes from Bruce that show why limiting yourself is for the weak.

“If you always put a limit on everything you do, physical or anything else it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.”

Have you reached a plateau in your life? What are you doing to go beyond your own limits?

“A goal is not always meant to be reached. It often serves simply as something to aim at.”

Any goal you have should be used as inspiration and motivation to be the best you can be. It is not about the accomplishment but how you get there that is the most important part.

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”

This is what most people don’t quite understand about expectations. We tend to base our expectations on what others expect of us instead of working at accomplishing and exceeding our own expectations.

If you had no limits as to what you could accomplish do you think you would push yourself to get there?

Most of the obstacles we face are not physical barriers but mental ones. We put up walls around us and then make excuses why we can’t climb or them. Or, we plan how we can climb over but never take action to actually make the climb because we’re too scared to fail!

Think what superhuman skill you have that could help you achieve anything your mind could imagine.

Here’s an infographic of some of the greatest superhuman skills known to man. Do they inspire you to reach for the no limits mindset?

Superhuman Abilities

From Visually.

Putting The No Limits Mindset Into Action

“The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible.”
Arthur C. Clarke

 

Do you believe achieving your dreams are possible or impossible?

If you believe they are impossible then why have dreams in the first place?

But if you believe anything is possible then let’s find a way for you to achieve those dreams.

Everything starts in the mind. Where your thoughts take you is totally up to you. The proper mindset is all you need to live a life without any limits but you need some rocket fuel to make those thoughts blast off into the farthest regions of space.

So, how do you get there?

Here are the seven ways to putting the no limits mindset into action:

1- Seize The Opportunities Afforded You – Opportunities don’t come around vert often and when they do, they are like a door with a timer on them. If you don’t take advantage now, it will close before you have the chance to make things happen.

2- Learn How To Try New Things, New Ideas, And New Ways – Think you know it all? Think again. What keeps our mind and thoughts fresh is a different perspective on life and the things around us. Your mind will stay stagnant if you don’t make it work. Try new things… you never know if you will like something unless you give it a shot. Listen to new ideas. Maybe you will get that aha moment that will change your life. Seek out new ways to do things. Sometimes, the tried and true ways need an update. Be the one who puts a new wrinkle in old thought.

3- Remove Your Limiting Beliefs One By One – What separates you from the most successful people on the planet? Your limiting beliefs, that’s what! Every limiting belief you have is like a brick that gets put up on top of all your other limiting beliefs and so, over the years, you have built a mighty wall that is stopping you in your tracks. Now, instead of knocking the whole wall down, let’s start by breaking single bricks until you have broken all the bricks and there is nothing stopping you. Why is this method easier and better to implement? Those limiting beliefs are like old habits. You can’t break every one but you can do it one at a time. Every time you break a brick, you build more confidence and your mind gets stronger.

4- Throw Out Your Mental Garbage – Every Thursday night, I have to take out the weeks trash and put it out to the curd for the garbageman to take. Your limiting beliefs are the same. Take the time to throw them out and replace them with positive and uplifting thoughts. Even if your life sucks right now and you feel like you have nowhere to go, just the idea that you can flush those dirty thoughts away can bring hope and inspiration to your life. This kind of habit takes work but just like emptying all the trash in your home, make this habit one you do everyday.

5- Stop Accepting The Status Quo – Just because everyone does things as they have always done doesn’t mean you have to follow suit. Sonia Thompson, a contributing writer to LIFE – the blog says, “Stand up against “the way things are” and show others that “the way things could be” is truly possible. You don’t have to accept the norm. Instead, find out what works for you and go with it. That’s where your possibilities are hidden.

6- Live Life Outside The Lines – It’s not about just being different. It means stepping outside your comfort zone and tackling those things that scare you shitless! It’s about moving into uncharted territory and going against the norm. You become the explorer in life… you chart a new pathway… and you discover new places for yourself. In order to accomplish this, you must overcome any and all resistance that comes your way, including your own fears and thoughts. Explore the vast options around you and you will see that self discovery is an unending process.

7- Trust Your Own Instincts – Your gut feeling is usually right but most of us second guess ourselves. In fact, we do it so often that we tend not to trust our own judgment and that’s where we allow negativity to seep into our thoughts. Your instincts are an important tool so use it wisely. According to Susanna Newsonen MAPP, “Your intuition is shaped by your past experiences, and your existing knowledge which you gained from them.” That is why experience is your best teacher. She goes on to say, “Your intuition is encoded in your brain like “a web of fact and feeling.” That code will help you make the proper decision because it’s part of you. So start listening to it.

God has given us every talent, trait, and wisdom to be the best version of ourselves possible but it’s up to you to make it happen. Being fearful of what may happen next, failure to take calculated risks, and staying in your own comfort zone is a recipe for a boring, mind-numbing life where the only soaring you’ll be doing is watching others make the life they want to live.

Now is the only time to start living the no limits lifestyle. What are you waiting for?

No limits

Stop Living Small: 5 Ways To Go Far Beyond Your Comfort Zone And Live The Life You Were Meant To Live

fearless

Why Are You Living So Small?

“Life is too short to be living somebody else’s dream.”
Hugh Hefner

Are you living small?

Are you living the life you were meant to live?

Do you feel like you’re being held back from your true purpose in life?

The way we live is today far different from the way our parents and grandparents lived and as such, many of us feel lost when it comes to how we can attain our dreams. We’re looking for a way to be free yet we tie ourselves up with excuses and lies.

We live in a shell in which we protect ourselves from pain and attachment. We lose sight of the real us because we’re fearful of what to expect.

Many people avoid confrontation so they hide themselves away but secretly wish they could face life head on. They invent excuses that keep them from taking action which can bring some form of fulfillment but instead, keep them locked inside their own prison.

But what if we could embrace our innermost fears and overcome the walls we put up around us?

What if we could break out of this prison and open our hearts and minds to the wonders and beauty of the world in a way that brings pure joy and happiness to everything we do?

What’s Stopping You?

The biggest thing stopping most of us from living the life we were meant to live is fear. Fear of rejection… Fear of looking stupid… Fear of making a fool of ourselves… Fear of the unknown… but the biggest fear… is the fear of failure.

The fear is so great most people would rather not try and stay where they are than to make a concerted attempt at success than to risk failure. But failure is not the true problem here. Putting yourself out there is hard but success and happiness come with a price and if you don’t pay it you’re trapped.

Naguib Mahfouz says, “Fear does not prevent death. It prevents life.”

Your fear is preventing you from living the life you were meant to be and if you let your fears overtake your mind and heart, you will never experience what real living is all about.

Below is an infographic about how to overcome fear. Sometimes, when fear is right in front of you, there’s no other way than to face it head on.

 

Outwitting the Ghosts of Fear

From Visually.

But a perceived barrier to entry is when we think something stands in our way… but it’s not real. It’s only in our way because we let it be.

Are You Sabotaging Your Own Dreams?

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

What is your focus in life? Are you making the most of the talents that God has given you or are you focusing your efforts on avoiding pain or embarrassment?

It’s time you gave yourself the chance to be best you can be. It’s time you believe in yourself. You matter, you have value, and you have dignity. These are things we forget when we make the attempt to be successful. Our belief in ourselves must be front and center in your attempts to make your life better.

What I’ve seen as a life coach is how much people devalue themselves and feel stuck in life. It’s a shame how much people sabotage their chances at success.

How do we sabotage ourselves?

  1. We avoid confrontation – Instead of confronting those things that have a hold on us, we end up backing away and giving in. We live with the problems and allow it to dictate how we act. Why can’t we fight back?  You will never get what you want cowering in fear. You need to stand up for yourself and push back.
  2. We’re afraid to tackle the big stuff – Too often, we push the big stuff off for later to tackle the easy stuff right now. What’s really happening is called procrastination. Procrastination kills momentum. It’s better to prioritize and do now than to plan for perfection and never lift a finger.
  3.  Setting unrealistic expectations – Sometimes we set unrealistic expectations so we allow ourselves an excuse to fail. We can look back and say, “Well, that was too hard. Next time, I’ll try something easier.” Those unrealistic expectations are just an excuse to fail. For many people, it’s easier to fail than to succeed and have to meet those expectations the nest time.

Stop Making Excuses For Living Small

“If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space.”
Stephen Hunt

What is it about life that causes us to shy away from taking a stab at success?

I can remember many times when I wanted to do something but shied away because I feared success. That’s right. I was in fear of being successful. It was the old, “If I was successful then I’d have to continually prove that I was good enough” belief that many of us use as a n excuse.

Excuses are what living small is all about. We use them to explain away what we feel we can’t accomplish. Those excuses end up becoming boulders on our shoulders and weigh us down until we believe we can’t do anything and use the fear of failure as an excuse.

Molly Cain, a writer for Forbes Magazine relates the story of a mother who posted a sexy picture of herself in her workout gear standing next to her three young children. This woman wanted to show that she got this body because she didn’t give into excuses. She could have used the excuse she’s too busy being a mother and a career woman but instead showed what you can do when you live big.

Molly explains, “We hate to be reminded that our excuses are explaining away laziness, failure, giving up and self-doubt. They’re there when we need them and we reach to them far too often. Our excuses drive us to failure because they let us take the easy way out.”

That was me for a long time. I took the easy way out and it frustrated me to no end until I got busy and started living big. That’s when good things started to happen. I was able to get signed to a big named publishing house, I published book after book and overcame shyness because I didn’t want to be a living billboard for excuses anymore.

Molly finishes up by stating, “We all have things we could blame for derailing us in life. It’s only when you identify the excuses you’re using in life that you can really get ahead.

Who and/or what are you blaming for not living the life you want?

What are you going to do about it?

Are you going to live the rest of your life being stuck with excuses?

Here’s an inspiring quote from the actor and comedian Jim Carrey that he made at a 2014 college commencement. He explains what you need to do to go beyond that “Thinking and living small mindset” and make a difference in both yours and other peoples lives.

“You can spend your whole life imagining ghosts, worrying about the pathway to the future, but all there will ever be is what’s happening here and the decisions we make in this moment, which are based on either love or fear. So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality. What we really want seems impossibly out of reach and ridiculous to expect, so we never dare to ask the universe for it.”

Does what you want seem so far out of reach that the only way is to quit before you begin?

That’s a sad commentary on life. Why try something if we’re only gonna fail at it anyway?

Because you never know what’s gonna happen unless you try. Don’t stand on the sidelines while everyone else plays the game of life. It’s a boring place to be with no action and no happiness. Why don’t yo get into the game and see what life can offer you!!!

Jim tells us that “Like many of you, I was concerned about going out into the world and doing something bigger than myself, until someone smarter than myself made me realize that there is nothing bigger than myself. My soul is not contained within the limits of my body, my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul.”

You can fly but you have to believe you can. Don’t worry about what others say or think about you. You only have to please yourself. And since when is failure the end of everything?

You learn from your failures and go forth, always striving, always looking ahead, and giving it your best. When you live small you box yourself into a corner with your wings clipped.

The Consequences Of Living Small

“Fear is temporary. Regret is forever.”
Deirdre Van Nest

What type of signs come into play when you are living small?

I call it the “Wallflower Syndrome” and it’s exploited to the max by people who say they are too shy. Once again it’s just an excuse that helps you avoid living life to its fullest!

Here are the 5 tell-tale signs that you are living small and why you won’t change.

The first tell-tale sign is…

1-You wait for people to come to you – Instead of making the first move, you wait patiently for everyone to make the first move and if/when it doesn’t happen, you give a big sigh of relief because you don’t actually have to make any type of commitment. This way you avoid any type of confrontation.

The second tell-tale sign is…

2- You stuff your life with inconsequential things – No matter how busy you get, you gravitate to the small things such as errands, chores, to-do lists that don’t mean anything. Those things that are a big deal get pushed back all the time. You end up missing the big picture in life because you occupy your mind, your time and your life with the wrong priorities while everyone else is busy making things happen.

The third tell-tale sign is…

3- You let criticism beat you down like a hammer – Any type of criticism is like a huge billboard confirming everything you already felt about yourself. You’re not good enough, you don’t belong, and you will never amount to anything. We, that’s all bullshit! It’s just a way for you to deal with life. Stop wearing a coat of armor. It’s heavy, uncomfortable and it can’t protect you from anything real.

The fourth tell-tale sign is…

4- You’re a planner not a doer – Living small consists of small plans, small ideas and small details but they never amount to much. Why? because you never carry them out. You’re a dreamer with no concrete way to make them happen. You put up walls (excuses) everytime something comes your way. You spend your whole life planning for something that will never happen. You never take chances because you’re worried of ridicule, indifference, or worse yet, falling on your face from failure but as I am fond of saying… who cares? Get up off your ass and do something! Even if it fails at least you tried. Learn from your mistakes and carry on. You’ll be able to learn what you did wrong so you can make corrections the next time around.

The fifth and final tell-tale sign is…

5- You live in a world of escape – You’re so unhappy with the life you have, you escape to a world where you can’t fail. Your dreams are filled with actions you would never take yourself and you play the hero. To you, reality is an illusion and dreams are the real world. Every mistake, every trial and tribulation is magnified to the point where you hide away in your own magical wonderland. What’s so hard about being human and screwing up at times? We all do it. It’s those type of people who get back up and have the “Never say die attitude” that live big and get the most out of life. Isn’t that what really scares you?

What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? It’s a question you need to ask if you want to live the life you’ve always wanted.

It’s time to take off that negative mindset that’s weighing you down and just start living and moving forward. You don’t have to succeed all the time and you don’t have to go fast. As the song goes,“Put one foot in front of the other and soon you’ll be walking ‘cross the floor.”

From now on, you have to take advantage of your opportunities to live the life you were meant to live. It is the new commandment for your life!

Living Small

How To Stop Worrying About What Others Think Of You

stop worrying

Why Do You Care About What Others Think Of You?

“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the crowd. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.”

Friedrich Nietzsche

From the time we’re born we are influenced and shaped by the people around us. We listen to their every word and watch their every action as we grow but when we let what others think of us become more important than what we think of ourselves, it can be devastating for our self-esteem.

We all want to be liked by those we come in contact with so when we tailor our actions to fit other’s opinions of us, we lose out on the person we really are. We becomes puppets on a string that others can manipulate when they find out they have certain powers over us.

So, why worry about what others think about you? Why let what others think, say and feel influence how you feel and act on a daily basis?

It all comes down to how we feel about ourselves.

Think about it. Low self-esteem means we care too much about what others say and not enough about who we really are on the inside. We don’t think we’re important enough to make a positive impression on other people so we miss out on what it really means to be unique.

I remember when I was in high school. I was very shy and it was hard for me to make friends (having moved around so many times in my life) so I decided to let my actions do the talking. I was a very good athlete, having played basketball, baseball, football, and soccer, but it didn’t matter. Whatever people thought of me was out of my hands.

They still talked about me behind my back, made insulting remarks about my looks and actions and treated me like I was carrying the plague but I learned I couldn’t control what others thought or said about me, I could only control my own actions. This taught me a very valuable lesson as I got older. The more people I dealt with, the stronger a person I had to become or I would ultimately let others dictate who I was as a person.

What about you?

Do you worry what others will think about how you look, what you do, or even how you think?

Lolly Daskal, President and CEO, Lead From Within says this about worrying too much what others think: “When we give over our power to others and allow that their impressions to become how we perceived, we lose out on who we really are. The only reality we can see is how we believe others see us.”

Your reality should not be based on the power you give to others but the power you have inside. Success in life is not determined on what others think of you but how you feel about yourself and what you do to achieve your goals. Low self-esteem and lack of confidence puts you at a disadvantage when dealing with others and can derail any shot you have at being successful.

Who do you want to dictate how you live your life? Will it be you or other people? It’s as simple as that.

How Can You Eliminate The Worrying And Free The Authentic Person Inside?

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” 
Carl Gustav Jung

According to Raj Raghunathan, Ph.D., an Associate Professor at the University of Texas McCombs School of Business, “Studies show that we consistently overestimate how much, and how badly, others think about us and our failings. An unfortunate consequence of this is that we are far more inhibited and far less spontaneous and joyful than we could be.”

This is a very important idea to understand. The more you overestimate how much others think about you the harder it becomes to be more open and more spontaneous.

One of the reasons why shy people have difficulty opening up and enjoying themselves is not about knowing what to say or how to act but is more concentrated on their belief of what others may think about them.

I suffered from this type of behavior for many years. I was so self-conscious of what others were going to think about how I looked or how I carried myself that stayed stuck in my shell. It was so hard to be comfortable when I felt everyone was looking at me.

But here’s the kicker, no one really cares about you. Most people are so into themselves that you aren’t important enough for them to spend time judging you. Having learned this one idea freed me from those self-conscious feelings and I was able to function without the fear or phobia of social interaction.

Here are seven more ways you can eliminate the worry that has a firm hold on you.

1- Break The Cycle Of Your Social Disorder – We have been programmed from an early age to act a certain way, dress a certain way, think a certain way and these types of ideologies force us into social acceptance. There seems to be no room for self expression if it doesn’t conform to the norm.

Take social media for instance. We are forced to like people and things on both Facebook and Twitter to feel part of something bigger than ourselves. This goes against who we really are on the inside. Non-conformity has become a pariah in society and we pay a heavy price for being like everyone else.

Who says you have to be liked socially to fit in? No one needs to give you permission to be liked. That comes from you. The more you understand that concept, the easier it will be to stop worrying about what others think about you and how to fit in without becoming just another face in the crowd.

2- Think about the bigger picture in life – We constantly worry about how we will fit into society and this leads people to do some crazy things to be part of the group. This type of thinking is very short-sided as it has its workings in the present day instead of looking at the bigger picture and where your future lies. If you’re always chasing acceptance, it means you cannot fully accept yourself at this time and will always look for it wherever you go.

The bigger picture shows you things you might have missed when you concentrate on this moment in time. Those things are very important to how you view yourself and the people and things around you.

The bigger picture also changes your point of view. The spotlight is not always on you nor is the pressure you put on yourself. Slow down and get a grip on who you are not what you are perceived to be.

3- Stop letting others live your life for you – Have you ever had a windup toy that you pulled the lever and it went wherever you led it to go? Or a remote controlled toy that you controlled its action? That’s what worrying about what others think of you is like. They have complete control over your thoughts and movements because you’ve transferred that power willingly.

No one is living your life, making your decisions or feeling your feelings. You know best how to live and get along in the world so why let others do those things for you? Learning about yourself comes from making your own mistakes and seeing how far you can go before you make a mistake. You can’t learn anything when you are filled with worry.

Download The “How To Stop Worrying About What Others Think Of You” Cheatsheet Here

4- Stop trying to please everyone – The only person you need to please is yourself. That’s it! It’s impossible to live up everyone else’s expectations and when you have low expectations of yourself, you end up accomplishing very little. Just try to please yourself and let life fall where it may.

When you try to please others so they will like you, they end up liking the person who is pleasing them and not the authentic you. The inauthentic self becomes a ball they can kick around for momentary pleasure. Once you’re gone, your not important to them anymore. Is that how you want it to be?

5- Don’t sow what you don’t want to reap – How you are to others is how you will be treated back. If you have no backbone, people will push you around. If you can’t say no, you will allow yourself to be used time and time again.

You can’t be everything to everyone so be what you want for yourself and yourself only. When you let others dictate your path in life you cannot control what you sow and you will reap a bittersweet harvest.  Raj Raghunathan goes on to say that “Life is an echo: what you send out comes back. Too much worry about what others think of you can become a self-fulfilling prophesy that eventually governs your behavior and thoughts.”

6- What others think of you is none of your business – Dr Kelly Neff, a psychologist and founder of the “Lucid Planet” states that “The root of the problem with caring about what people think about you is that you’re attaching yourself to an outcome that you have no control over.”

Think about it. What outcome do you want to have happen? Can you force that outcome? Of course not but that’s what we all try to do. We make it our business to know and control what others think and feel about us because of our egos.

Ego forces us to do things based on pride instead of the truth. We try to get “On the good side of people” without realizing we’re trying to manipulate how they think and feel about us. This type of manipulation actually causes people to reject us unconsciously.

Let go of what others may think and grab hold of how you feel about yourself. By making that of greater importance than what others think, you free yourself from living up to others expectations and you can direct your energies to things of real importance.

7- Get out of your inner mental prison – Author Ed Latimore gives a great example of this when he talks about the relationship Bruce Wayne has with his alter ego Batman. Bruce Wayne is caught in a struggle between good and evil and needs Batman to carry out his whims. Batman does all the things Bruce Wayne wants to do but can’t because he is too worried about how he’ll be perceived. He’s stuck and tortured by his ego and it has put him in a prison.

Let me shine a light on how this works. Have you ever been invited to a party and you start talking to people? You feel your life isn’t as exciting as everyone else is so you start to make things up to sound more interesting. When everyone else starts drinking, you drink as well. In fact, you try to out drink everyone to “Look cool” and be interesting but you’ve put the real you inside a prison and have adopted an alter ego.

That alter ego is very hard to live up to, especially when you’re expected to be that person no matter where you go or who you meet. What’s needed is a prison break.

Ed states that “Carrying out a prison break isn’t easy especially when the prison is an invention of your own mind.”

What Steps Can You Take To Stop The Worrying From Overtaking Your Life?

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” 
Corrie Ten Boom

Most of us are pleasers. We want to please others so that we are liked but when we focus on the external outcomes such as being validated for our actions and our status in life we lose sight of what is truly important in life.

What makes you happy?

Are you doing enough to bring happiness into your life?

Are you living the fulfilling life you’ve always dreamed of?

If you answered no to questions 2 and 3, you care too much about what others think and don’t put enough emphasis on what it takes to be the real you. That is why happiness and fulfillment have not partnered with you to bring the joy you envision for yourself.

What does it take to stop worrying and start being yourself?

Are you afraid to say what you really think and believe out of fear of what others may think?

Fear is a mighty big word. It’s like a huge tidal wave with nothing to stop it but you have the power to turn it off anytime you like, you just don’t believe it’s possible.

Let me tell you it’s not only possible but within you grasp if you believe in it.

1- The first step is to show yourself some love – Transfer the power that others hold over you to yourself and you will see a huge difference in how little you worry about others. It may seem impossible, but remember, you deserve to be loved and no one has the right to take that away from you.

As you build confidence in yourself, the worry tends to lessen because you are putting the bulk of your thoughts on things that make you happy. You are satisfying your ego instead of challenging it to a duel and satisfaction is a an important ally

2The second step is to stop putting yourself in uncomfortable positions – You are feeding your negativity by putting yourself in positions where you feel you can’t win. You cannot avoid all stressful situations but you can learn how to deal with them without feeling like you are being tested and everyone is watching you to see if you pass or fail.

Once you get through these stressful situations you’ll start to build confidence in your abilities. Self-confidence is worry’s worst nightmare. It’s like taking Popeye’s spinach for your belief system.

3- The third step is to develop your own life story – Instead of living the story you believe others have of you, start developing your own internal story. Stop listening to your inner critic that wants to write your life story and work on your true authentic self. Find those things that represent the real you. learn what makes you unique and build your belief through them.

Accept your faults but think of all the things you done in life and how they made you feel. Do they represent what others think of you or do they show what the real you is capable of?

4- The final step is to control what you put your attention on – This is a mindset practice that takes time and patience but one that reaps many benefits. You are on a lifetime mission to learn and to love. What you put your attention on becomes your focus.

If you are always worried about what others think then you will focus on that worry. If you focus on what you can do to better yourself, you allow the subconscious brain to take over and focus on an answer. The brain won’t stop until it finds a solution.

What do you focus on the most during your day?

That which you focus on will become your reality so doesn’t it make sense that you focus on that which you want to happen? If you focus on being happy, your brain will find ways to bring happiness and joy into your life.

If you focus your efforts on making money, your brain will lead you to opportunities you hadn’t seen before.

If you want to focus on something, focus on what makes you a better person and allow your brain to show you the way. Look for opportunities to better yourself. Look for opportunities to build confidence. Look for ways that helps you gain knowledge and wisdom. Pure focus is the only way to overcome anything that stands in your way.

The real you is in there somewhere. It’s up to you to unleash it upon the world and be the person you’ve always wanted to be. Worrying doesn’t pay the bills or make you a better person. It only forces you to neglect what’s really important… doing what God put you on earth to do.

What does God say about worrying?

Let me leave you with these verses from Matthew 6:25-27.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”

And, as the singer Bobby McFerrin once sang, “Don’t worry, be happy!”

How To Stop Worrying

7 Amazing Tips To Follow Your Passion In Life

find your passion

How To Really Follow Your Passion In Life

“Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.”
Oprah Winfrey

Marie Forleo, the famous life coach, motivational speaker and bestselling  author states this about passion: “One of the biggest stumbling blocks to finding your passion in life is figuring out what you’re passionate about in the first place. Passion can’t be found in your head because it lives in your heart.”

Everything we do comes from our heart. It was planted there long before we were born and this is the place we must connect to to find what it is we were put on the Earth to do.

All the time and effort we put into living can be best summed up in one sentence: Unless you find your passion, all that time and effort is all a waste.

How many people go through life and have that eureka moment when they find out what it is they are supposed to do. I’m not saying everything that came before is a waste. It isn’t. It’s a learning process but too often, we don’t allow our passion to take over.

We listen to others tell us to mind our business and they scare us off. But you can’t scare the spirit. It already knows.

They say, passion drives the spirit and when the spirit is driven, good things follow. Throughout your life, you are being called to make things happen but if you don’t listen to that little voice, something will always be missing.

According to Tony Reinke, Senior writer at desiringGod.org, “Actions speak louder than words — but desires speak loudest. The pursuit of pleasure is what drives all our actions and decisions, driving us into relationships, driving us to watch football, driving us toward excellence at work. We authentically pursue what we are convinced will bring us pleasure.”

So my question to you is, what is driving your spirit and what are you truly passionate about?

To take it a step further, are you following your passions in life? Are you making your dreams come true? Are you living like those dreams matter?

Passion is what drives you to achieve your special dreams.

Passion sustains you when you feel you can’t go on in life.

Passion is what allows you to sacrifice yourself for the greater good.

Passion is what turns the impossible into the very possible

Passion is what turns the dull and boring into an enthusiastic pursuit.

If you don’t have passion, what are you waiting for? The longer you wait, the harder it will be to discover what your passion is and how you can make it a reality.

Listen to “How To Be A More Passionate Person” audio track below.

What Exactly Is Your Passion And Purpose In Life?

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world. “
Harriet Tubman

If you want to find your true passion in life you must know what your true purpose on earth. Purpose and passion go together. Where there is purpose, there is a world of possibilities. Most people are too afraid to try new things out of fear of failing. They are so scared of the unknown they don’t know how or where to go to look for what they should be doing.

Even worse, some people never find their purpose and live a life without any passion whatsoever.

Do you want to be that person? Do you want to have regrets for living a life without any purpose at all?

God has given you all the talent and passion you will ever need but it’s up to you to find it, nurture it and implement it to take advantage of the power it holds.

Before you start can you answer these 5 questions:

  • Is what I’m you are doing now satisfying my inner passions?
  • Where does my passion come from?
  • Do you get a charge out of getting up every morning to go to work?
  • How do you feel on Sunday night thinking about going to work on Mondays?
  • Do you dread having to get up in the morning on Monday, or does it excite you?

Ceil Ryan, a Christian Blogger, Writer and Speaker links passion with purpose when she writes, A passion becomes a purpose when I make a commitment to take those interests, and move them to serve more than myself.”

To me, commitment is what brings your passion and purpose into the light. It’s how you take what God has given you and make a dent in the universe.

The following tips will help you discover what your passion is and how to take the necessary steps to make it a reality. Waiting is not an option anymore.

In the movie, Kung Fu Panda 3, Po talks about teaching the other pandas Kung Fu but the only way he can do it is by taking advantage of their strengths and making them the best they can be. That’s what passion is all about. It’s all about taking the best you have to offer with the talents you’ve been given and putting them all together for the good of the world!

STEP ONE – Open the eyes of your heart
When we feel like something’s missing in life the first place we need to turn to is the heart. The heart sees all and knows what it needs to do. You need to reconnect with your passion and gain clarity about how to create meaningful change and move forward with your true calling because the secrets of the universe are revealed inside your heart. In Psalm 37:4, we see how this is revealed. “Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

“If you feel like there’s something out there that you’re supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.”
Wanda Sykes

STEP TWO – Look beyond the ingredients you possess and see what you can make with them
What is the focal point of your life? Are you just a grab bag of innate ingredients that has yet to be mixed? Everything you are needs to be have a recipe that only you can make. It is a God-given gift that is like a puzzle you put together. These ingredients may seem unconnected but if you look through the events of your life you will see they are telling you what your life story should be.

Corrina Gordon-Barnes, the champion of employment states it this way: “This is the time to look beyond the ingredients and seek an umbrella; something that all of these ingredients can fit beneath.” This is how you stand out and find your true calling.

“If you don’t love what you do, you won’t do it with much conviction or passion.”
Mia Hamm

STEP THREE – Interest plus engagement will fire your passion
I first learned this formula from Christie Mims, a professional career coach who taught me how to dig down deep into my hobbies and what I enjoy doing and look for themes and trends that make me both happy and fulfilled. When you do the proper research she says, “You’ll likely find that your passion’s been staring you in the face this whole time. And better yet, if you connect enough dots, there’s already a job out there for you.” But it goes far beyond just getting a job. In fact, your life’s passion can take you places you’ve never imagined going and meet people you never thought you’d meet.

“Nothing is as important as passion. No matter what you want to do with your life, be passionate.’”
Lydia Sweatt
STEP FOUR – Strengthen your passion muscles
As adults, many of us have lost sight of the imagination and eccentricity we had as kids and it has taken it’s toll on our life. We seem lost and don’t know where to turn. Does that sound like you? It’s time to fly! It’s time to strengthen those passion muscles by opening yourself up to your dreams. Let your imagination fly and take you where you want to go.
This is what Robbin Phillips, author of the bestselling book, “The Passion Conversation” means when she states, “Passion is what you discover about yourself along the way. It’s not something you just magically wake up and have.” So, how do you do this? By engaging the brain. The more you engage your brain, the more you find what really pushes your buttons. It’s all about finding what excites you and then doing it!

“There is no passion to be found playing small—in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”
Nelson Mandela

Download Your “7 Amazing Tips To Follow Your Passion In Life” Cheatsheet Here

STEP FIVE – Be a creator and follow your curiosity
Passion allows us to create the life we want whenever we want it. Take your creative juices and pour them out to the world. But don’t just create things… create your vision of who you are and what you want to be. Always be curious about life and what it has to offer. Let that curiosity drive your passions so you can create your masterpieces.

Don’t worry about what others ay or do. Be yourself, be bold and let your creations have their moment. What good is it if you lock away your creativity and cage your curiosity. Be alive! Let your passions run wild. Life is not meant to live small so start creating what your heart is overflowing with. Seek out knowledge and allow it to inspire you to take the bold steps you need to find your purpose in life.

“Follow your passion, be prepared to work hard and sacrifice, and, above all, don’t let anyone limit your dreams.”
Donovan Bailey
STEP SIX – Make your passion hunt an adventure
Ever heard the phrase, “Life is adventure, join it!” Without true passion you’ll always been sitting on the sidelines. There are people who push their passions aside and never go on any true adventures. I’m a big movie freak and the adventure idea really comes into play with the children’s move called “Up” It’s about a young boy who goes to the cinema during the 1930’s and watches the adventures unfolding before him and decides he wants to be an adventurer when he grows up.  Well, life gets in the way of his adventures.  He gets married to a girl who also loves adventures. They buy a small house and make just enough money to get by. When she dies, he is heartbroken at missing out on life’s adventures. But, when his house is about to be taken away, he goes on the adventure he and his wife always dreamed about. His regrets turn into real happiness.
You have the capacity to make things happen…RIGHT NOW! What adventure do you want to go on? What is your heart telling you to do? The real adventure comes in the hunt for your passion and allowing that passion to fly in the face of life’s misfortunes. Your passion should excite you and inspire you to make life an adventure. Don’t wait till it’s too late. Don’t waste your life and only look back on sorrows and regrets.
“It’s your place in the world;  it’s your life. Go on and do all you can with it, and make it the life you want to live.”
Mae Jemison
STEP SEVEN – Stop thinking and start doing
Action! That word should be your main inspiration in becoming what you were meant to be. But how many people just talk about what they want to do? How many people actually do what they say they want to do? Even worse, how many people push their dreams away because they’re afraid of what others may say?
The only way you make your passion come alive is to pursue them. So you fail at times. Big deal. You won’t always hit a home run but isn’t it better to try than to sit on the sidelines and watch others have their day? It isn’t whether you win or lose but how you live your life. So stop thinking about things and start making choices.
  • What do I want to do with my life?
  • How am I going to pursue my dreams?
  • Who and what inspires me?
  • What is my plan of attack?

The only thinking you need to do is make a plan. After that, let life take over and have some fun! Be adventurous. Take chances and risks and go for your dreams. Don’t let your dreams remain in your heart. You need to live… really experience life before it’s too late!

“You can do anything as long as you have the passion, the drive, the focus, and the support.” 
Sabrina Bryan

Start Taking Your Life’s Passion To The Next Level

There are many places to explore when it comes to discovering your passions. Unfortunately, it’s up to you to find it. No one else can find it for you. Since your passions are unique, it’s a mission that you – and only you – can complete.

In your quest for passion, concentrate on enjoying the journey itself. Sometimes when you stop stressing about your life’s purpose, it falls right into your lap!

You can sit on your ass all day and think about your passion but until you actually act on your passions nothing will ever change. Just imagine what your life could be like if you act upon your passions. Would you be happy? Joyful? Excited at the opportunities that life has to offer?

Without passion, everything is dull and boring. Acting on your passions spices things up and brings out the excitement in life.  What could you accomplish if you put your passion into play? Would you be able to see your dreams take flight and fall into place?

So, what’s holding you back?

Could it be fear of change?

Sometimes the thing that holds you back from self-discovery is a fear of change. There’s always comfort and safety in not taking risks, but you also may never discover your life’s true purpose. Passion is your friend. Learn to embrace change because life is constantly changing around you and you’ll get left behind if you don’t!.

Start reflecting on the moments in your life when you’re most happy. What are you doing at these times? Is passion driving your happiness? Then go with it. Follow your passion as it leads you to your purpose.

Keep engaging in activities that have a deep inner meaningful to you. This way, each day of your life will feel like it truly matters and you will be able to fulfill your life’s purpose.

Using Self-Awareness To Find Your Passion

“Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.”
Farrah Gray

You spend everyday with yourself, but how well do you actually know who you really are? Sit down and list your passions. Think about where you are in life at this moment. Be aware of what your feelings as they will push you towards your passions.

  • What do you want to accomplish?
  • Are you doing the things you love?
  • Are you taking time to have fun?
  • What are your hopes and dreams?
  • What is the one thing missing from your life

Once you answer these questions, it will be easier to discover what changes you need to make to find your passion.  Joy Tanksley, a certified Martha Beck Life Coach, says this about passion: “Passion can feel like a quiet inner light…an opening in the chest or a soft flutter in the belly. When you’re passionate about something, it feels like a yes,” 

The yes is what you are looking for. Once you find it, you are on your way a realizing your purpose.

Finding your passion in life may not be as hard as you believe. Use these strategies on your daily journey and one day soon you’ll see the one feature of your life that makes everything worthwhile.

Follow Your Passion

5 Daily Habits You Absolutely Need To Build A Happy And Fulfilling Life

new choices

Building A Happy And Fulfilling Life Through The Use Of Good Habits

“If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude.” 
Colin Powell

What do your daily habits say about you and the life you lead?

As humans, we are defined by our habits, whether good or bad, yet we fail to see the link between how happy we are and habits we engage in.

Have you ever sat down and looked at your habits and what they are doing to you?

Probably not but now is a good time to take inventory of what you do and what you need to change to become a happier and more successful person.

In this article, I am going to lay out the 5 daily habits you absolutely need to build a happy and fulfilling life that you can easily incorporate into your own situation but let me give you a word of warning… this is very important information that you need to learn or you’re doomed to living a life less than what you envision.

Why Are Habits So Important To Being Happy?

“Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. “
Warren Buffett

Before you can learn these five habits you must understand the importance of creating good habits and turning them into techniques that bring you happiness and success.

Aristotle says that 95% of everything we do is the result of our habits so if you form good habits, logically good things will happen but it actually goes much further than that. You want to make those good habits your master instead of allowing bad habits to rule your actions.

All habits are learned so you don’t really unlearn those habits. The idea is to replace the bad habits with good habits and continually develop those good habits.

Think about what you do everyday and prioritize those good habits. Life is about getting good results so you must become a results-oriented person.

The key to creating good habits is self-discipline.  Self-discipline then, is the foundation which makes everything else possible.

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.”
Jim Rohn

The Top Habits of Happy, Healthy, Productive People

Grapic courtesy of zipcode.org

Here Are The 5  Daily Habits You Absolutely Need To  Build A Happy And Fulfilling Life

“Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses. “
George Washington Carver

Many of our everyday habits are so ingrained in our daily adventures that we don’t actually think about them until they come up. The five habits I talk about here are things most people know about but don’t really practice enough. I have found these habits keep us humble and unselfish and at the same time while forcing us to become the best we can be.

1- Practice Generosity – Above all things, generosity leads to happiness. For those who give of themselves, happiness is spread throughout the world. It is the seed that never stops giving. 

In PSALM 41:1–3, we read about God’s promise to the generous.

“Blessed is the one who considers the poor!
In the day of trouble the Lord delivers him;
the Lord protects him and keeps him alive;
he is called blessed in the land;
you do not give him up to the will of his enemies.
The Lord sustains him on his sickbed;
in his illness you restore him to full health.”

It’s important to understand that God responds to the kindness and generosity we show to others with His ultimate protection, good health, and the abundance of his love.

This type of habit has been lost in this generation as people put too much emphasis on getting rich, buying things and looking after their own needs first.

Are you a generous person?

Do you give with your heart or your wallet?

The Lord loves a cheerful giver. According to Rev. James L. Harvey III, “When we use our money as God intends, giving a generous portion to His kingdom work regularly, we will feel God’s pleasure because we are doing what we are made to do.” He goes on to say, “God’s grace abounds to us in every good work of giving.”

According to bestselling author Michael Hyatt, there’s a ton of research showing how generosity enhances the quality of life for everyone involved.

He lists 5 ways generosity gives back to us:

  1. It makes us healthier Studies show the act of giving lowers blood pressure and reduces the the risk of dementia. It also helps stave off chronic illnesses, like heart disease, by lowering the disease risk factors.
  2. It makes us happy  According to researcher Christian Smith, happiness is a byproduct of doing good. It also triggers all the feel-good chemicals such as endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin which enhances the happiness we feel. Being generous also affects our moods.
  3. It improves our relationships – Everyone likes to be around generous people because they bring out the best in us. When others are generous to us, we want to be generous back. This habit can’t be taught. Instead, it must come from the heart. Giving brings people together by helping us stay connected to one another.
  4. It extends our lives – Have you ever volunteered for a charity or at church or for any function at all? How do you feel after helping others? A study in The Journal of Health Psychology of 2,000 people in Marin, California, found that volunteering dramatically reduced mortality rates even better than exercising. “Subjects who volunteered for two or more causes had a 63 percent lower rate of mortality than people who didn’t volunteer during the study period.”This should be a huge difference maker for those who don’t like to give. In fact, older adults who liked to volunteer their time found a better sense of purpose to their lives, higher levels of self-esteem and a stronger sense of personal control over how they live their lives. This is how being generous improves the quality of life for everyone involved.
  5. It lower our levels of stress – According a study from social psychologist Liz Dunn, people’s cortisol levels rose when they became stingy but for those who gave without being forced their stress levels tapered off. Another study in 2014 study from the Queensland University of Technology in Brisbane, Australia backed this up. They found that stingy behavior increases stress. The researchers played a money bargaining game with subjects, in which the participants had to divide up a certain amount  of money. Researchers found that the participants who decided on making low offers experienced an increase in heart rate and stress levels while those who made high offers had lower rates of stress.

Download “5 Daily Habits You Absolutely Need To Build A Happy And Fulfilling Life” Cheatsheet Here

2- Surround Yourself With Inspiration Life would be so boring if there wasn’t any inspiration in the world. According to Nina Amir, the Inspiration-to-Creation Coach, “To achieve that state of being, you must know what makes you happy. Then you have to allow those things to be part of your life. You can’t allow life to get in the way of doing the things that make you feel good and joyous. If you do, you become unhappy—or less happy than possible.”

Think about it…

What inspires you to get up and actually live?

What is it that gives you purpose in life?

What actually makes you happy?

Are you living that happiness or do you live on autopilot?

Inspiration is a habit that not many people look upon to give them happiness. In fact, inspiration seems to be unimportant to most people. They feel they’re too busy to be inspired or that only creative people are inspired in life. This is a great fallacy that has hindered finding happiness for too many people over the years.

From pockemindfulness.com blog, they state, “We all need a touch of inspiration to reignite the fire in our soul, be it to stimulate creative ideas for a project we are working on or simply to break the monotony of life’s autopilot and lose ourselves in the moment of possibility for a while.”

It is in that moment of possibility that we find the secret of happiness and success. It’s not about money or power but looking for that fleeting instant of inspiration that pushes us forward in life.

The most successful people in the world find inspiration in the little things in life. They make it a daily habit which brings out their gratitude for life and what they have at that moment in time.

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.”
Helen Keller

Helen Keller saw and heard more than most people will ever experience. What was her secret? Inspiration!!! She was a lifelong learner who wanted to make a difference in the world and used the habit of inspiration to become one of the most prominent women of the 20th century.

Why is inspiration so important to being happy and successful?

Most of us take life too seriously. We work too hard and don’t take enough time to enjoy life or what it has to offer. In a November 1, 2008 article by Scott Barry Kaufman entitled, “Why Inspiration Matters” he talks about why inspiration is so important and why it is so elusive. “In a culture obsessed with measuring talent and ability, we often overlook the important role of inspiration. Inspiration awakens us to new possibilities by allowing us to transcend our ordinary experiences and limitations. Inspiration propels a person from apathy to possibility, and transforms the way we perceive our own capabilities.”

Psychologists Todd M. Thrash and Andrew J. Elliot say that inspiration has three main qualities:

  1. Evocation – Inspiration is evoked spontaneously without intention.
  2. Transcendence – Is transcendent of our more animalistic and self-serving concerns and limitations. It involves a moment of clarity and awareness of new possibilities.
  3. Approach Motivation – In which the individual strives to transmit, express, or actualize a new idea or vision.

According to Thrash and Elliot, “Inspired people were more open to new experiences, and reported more absorption in their tasks.” This is important to understand how inspiration enhances our experiences and helps us enjoy life to a much greater degree.

Finally, inspiration is the springboard for a more creative and happy life. Be inspired to create the life you want on your terms!

3- Challenge Yourself – Most people see challenges as a “Me against the world” fight and a “Win or lose proposition” but challenges are what makes life interesting. Just like inspiration makes our experiences that much bolder, challenges force us to actually be a part of our own lives.

What types of challenges are you facing right now?

Are you learning from them?

Are you making the most of them?

Here are some challenges that will inspire positive habits in your life.

  1. Challenge your beliefs regarding what you are capable of – Stop with the I can’t excuses and start pushing yourself beyond your supposed limits.
  2. Challenge your ideas about life – What does life mean to you? Are you following the crowd because you don’t want to think for yourself or are you afraid of being/feeling different?
  3. Challenge your commitments – Are you guilty of  failing to finish those things you want to do but never get around to doing?
  4. Challenge your opportunities – Are you scared to take advantage of opportunities because you might fail? Sometimes, you need to dive head on and find your purpose while other times require you to make quick decisions. This is where doors open to a life you may be hiding from.
  5. Challenge your thoughts – Are you one of those people who is filled with negativity? Work at being  aware of what your thoughts are doing to you. Happiness depends on positivity. Be mindful of what you think and learn about the things you are thinking. Why are you thinking the thoughts you think? What are they doing to you? Make it a habit to confront the negative thoughts and try to replace them with positive ones until you gain control over your thoughts.
  6. Challenge your comfort zone – Get out of from behind the walls you have erected and take chances with your life. We all know why it’s important to push the boundaries of your comfort zone but why do most of us cringe when it comes time to do just that? It helps you become more productive, you will have an easier time facing new challenges and it will be much easier to brainstorm and harness your creativity because you have broken those chains that have always held you back.

Challenging yourself is the best way to improve yourself. Sometimes, you may fail but in the long run but you will gain trust in your abilities and strength in your character.

On the Plaza College website, they have an article dated July 24. 2013 entitled, “The Importance of Challenging Yourself” which meant to inspire students to achieve the best in all their endeavors.

It states, “Challenging ourselves to always achieve a level greater than what we expect is beneficial to not only our mental health, but also to our personal well being. As we conquer challenges that stand in our way like roadblocks, refusing to allow our passing, we find confidence in our abilities. Confidence is such an important characteristic to finding the path to success. If you do not believe in yourself, how can you expect others to believe in you? With confidence in your own work, comes the reward of the confidence of others in you. Boosting that confidence is the growing self-esteem, which results from tackling challenges.”

One of the most important ideas with challenging yourself is that it triggers change. Change is good when you are able to face that challenge but bad when you run away from change. Challenges are meant to help us gain clarity and maturity. These are things the right habit can help us achieve in the long run.

When obstacles come, research shows that when you see them as challenges and not threats, you have a much better chance of overcoming them. The motivation comes when we strive to better ourselves and work on our signature strengths.

4-  A Sense Of Balance  It has become increasingly hard to maintain any hope for balancing the work/life/play syndrome most of us face. We either work too hard and don’t spend enough time with ur families or we spend too much time with family life which affects how we work. The problem is, we have forgotten how to balance things to remain happy and fulfilled.

Maintaining a healthy balance in life is essential for being happy and a sense of well-being.

You need to remember that balance is an ongoing process that you must work at on a daily basis. You have to practice it to become better at it. Find what is important, prioritize then focus on it and do it. It really is that simple.

We tens to make everything so complicated in life that we forget that balance is all about keeping everything in perspective. The balance tips when we go overboard in any one area of life.

The balance habit is about keeping your life in perspective. It’s about the process of living not trying to life. Remember that. If you spend too much time trying to live and not actually living your priorities get screwed up and you lose balance rather quickly.

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.”
Thomas Merton

How To Find Balance In Life

There are two parts to everyone finding balance. They are

  • Internal
  • External

The internal starts with the mind, the heart and your health.

  • The mind is about making full use of your intellect while still giving your mind time to unwind.
  • The heart is about being open to giving as well as receiving love.
  • Your health  (both physical, mental and spiritual)  is about taking care of yourself without overdoing things that can lead to illness.

The external starts with work, Social interaction, family, and experiencing fun.

  • Work is about achieving your goals while enjoying what you do.
  • Social interaction is about maintaining friendships without losing time for yourself.
  • Family is about meeting the needs of your family while taking care of your own needs
  • Having fun is about taking time to enjoy life without overdoing it.

Are you being pulled in any one direction? Finding balance when life is pushing from all sides may seem like a heavyweight boxing match but this is where getting focus on what is important, getting things organized both in your personal and business life and being flexible come in handy.

You can’t hope to feel balanced if you can’t simplify your life. The more you complicate things and have too much to handle the harder it is to maintain any type of real balance. Practicing the habit of keeping things balanced allows you to create daily routines that keep things running smoothly.

Without a balanced lifestyle, it is easy to become depressed, disenchanted as well as stressed out and overburdened. Balancing everything may seem overwhelming but it all comes down to creating structure in your life that you can count on when things get crazy.

5-  Learning  the art of persistence – When the face of negativity appears, persistence is it’s Kryptonite.

According to Michal Stawicki, the author of 99 Perseverance Success Stories: Encouragement for Success in Every Walk of Life he makes the case for being persistent by understanding the following concepts:

  1. Success is a process, not destination.
  2. Time is your only asset; anything else is just a function of time.
  3. Every action gives results; sometimes it’s experience, sometimes feedback, sometimes the output you desired. It’s never in vain.
  4. Work on your important goals every day.
  5. You can do only one thing at a time; choose wisely which one.
  6. Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most.
  7. You need a burning desire to get what you want

“Success is the study of the obvious. Everyone should take Obvious I and Obvious II in school.”
Jim Rohn

Michael goes on to say, “We always notice things that we’re paying attention to. Wherever our focus is, our mind’s eye follows.” This is where persistence leads us. It’s that main focus where we put all our energy on to get what we are searching for.

Thomas Edison failed over a 10,000 times to invent a commercially-viable electric light bulb but he never gave up. When asked why, he said, “We sometimes learn a lot from our failures if we have put into the effort the best thought and work we are capable of.”

That’s why persistence pays off. It’s a habit most of us lack. We give up right before we actually find the answer. It is also one habit we teach our kids without really trying. They see us give up and take after our example. We wonder why they act this way later in life but we are to blame from our past examples.

Being firmly focused is the proper pathway to being persistent. You need to find a deep-rooted reason that drives you where you need to go and then pursue it wholeheartedly.

But you can’t just go all in without a plan. Persistence is nothing without a plan. Learning how to problem solve is also key to being persistent. When you have different ways to approach a task persistence becomes easier. Backup plans allow you to hit a problem from all angles.

Why is persistence so important to happiness and being fulfilled?

Have you ever settled for things and felt guilty for doing so? All of us have but it’s the ones who make the supreme effort to go far beyond mere acceptance who get what they want. They don’t settle for things they don’t want. It’s a habit they’ve built up all their life and once they outline their action steps, they go all in. Whether they succeed or fail isn’t really important here but the will to find the answers.

When you combine all five habits together you see that discipline makes them work in harmony. It all starts with the first step.

Being happy and fulfilled is a goal all of us share but it’s the ones who are persistent in their approach who achieve results.  When you connect your goals to an already established habit you will able to experience happiness and fulfillment in everything you do.

The key is to establish these five habits and live by them. This probably the best quote on persistence I have ever read and I believe this is how you get what you want in life… “It’s the fire you keep trying to start inside yourself until it grows and becomes bigger and bigger.” by James altucher.

I challenge you to make these five habits an important part of your daily routine. I know they will work for you because they are staples in finding true happiness and living a fulfilling life.

5 daily habits

How To Create Happy Moments That Will Last a Lifetime

create happy moments

Creating Happy Moments

“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.” 
Omar Khayyam

What have you done to create happy moments in your life?

Looking back on your life, what moments come to mind?

Was it your first kiss? Going to a ballgame with your your family? Your high school graduation? Going to Disneyland?

These are the type of events that stand tall in our collective memories yet too often we hide them away and leave them there to collect dust? Why is this?

Why do we forget those great memories of the past?

Are we too busy trying to create new memories that once a memory happens it gets tucked away nice and neatly so there’s room for the next memory?

I don’t know about you but I crave those memories. I love to sit back and enjoy the things I did before and appreciate the people and things I did them with. I love to watch old films of myself and my family and appreciate all that came before. I love watching my kids having fun and enjoying themselves but as always, there will be people who will try to rain on your parade and tell you to stop living in the past.

I know for some, their past is filled with painful memories that dredge up events that need to be kept in check but is it so hard to enjoy the past and the memories they contain?

Is it so hard to make new memories that can be talked about for years to come?

What does happiness mean to you?

Is it a feeling of inner peace? A ‘now you feel it, now you don’t’ type of  emotion?

Emotions are what drive most humans but have you ever sat down and thought about what your emotions are doing to you and how you can use them to turn momentary unhappiness to lasting joy?

Creating happy moments are what we were designed for. These moments are what makes our lives livable. The problem most of us have is we spend too much time looking for happiness instead of enjoying the moments we have right now.

God has given us a directive that everyone can take advantage of as written in Galatians 5:22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” 

According to an article entitled “10 Ways To Make The Most Of Your Happy Moments” by EricBarker from the magazine, The Week, he says One of the key happiness principles is savoring. That’s a fancy term for really taking a second to appreciate those happy moments in your life. You often think that it’s the world that makes you happy, but it’s really how you respond to the world. Those silly little things you do here and there in response to good moments; increasing those is the key to how to be happier without really trying.

We tend to look at happiness from a worldly perspective but we forget it’s an intimate experience that creates those magical moments. We wait for them to happen instead of enjoying the experience at the time we experience them. We remember events in our lives according to how they affected us instead of how we responded to them.

How many memories do you have in which you can recall everything that happened?

Do you fill in the blanks of the little details with either positive or negative emotions?

Do these memories become tall tales in which you create your own version of the event?

Do you skip over the hard parts and only remember the good times.

Life is made up of everything we’ve encountered, experienced and the wisdom we’ve gained from those moments so why not try and make those happy moments last?

How Do You Make Those Happy Moments Last?

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”
Dalai Lama

every moment can be a memory

Want to make more memories in life? Here are 28 life changes that will improve your happiness overnight and help you make those memories last. Try them and do your best to make the moments last. You won’t regret them!

SOCIAL

1- Stay in contact with friends and family

2- Be bold by trying new things

3- Always surround yourself with positive and uplifting people

4- Learn to have fun instead of working all the time

5- Be generous with your time and money

6- Use social media for doing and bring out the good in people and life

WORK

7- Learn from your mistakes, move on and enjoy the life you have now!

8- Celebrate success whether yours or another person’s. A win is a win is a win!

9- Don’t take yourself or life too seriously (see #4)

10 -Prioritize the important things in life

HEALTH & FITNESS

11- Get more sleep and dream happy dreams!

12- Get out and exercise and stay healthy!

13- Set goals… and achieve them or at least give it your best shot!

14- Be consistent in life and you will be motivated to be happy

MIND

15- Always smile. Smiling brings people together and opens up avenues of communication

16- Practice mindfulness. Live in the moment for every moment

17- Read more. Open up new worlds for yourself to explore

18- Unwind and allow the cares of the day to wash away

19- Take control of your life and be action-oriented

20- Find inspiration in every part of life

HOME

21- Make your house a home you want to enjoying living in

22- Learn to cook. Enjoy the art of preparing and feeding yourself

23- Let the sunshine into your life both physical and metaphorically

24- Unplug the tech and get personal with others

PERSONAL

25- Plan ahead for making memories

26- Start a new project and carry it through till the end

27- Invest time, money and sweat in yourself and your abilities

28- Learn to be grateful for what you have and the life you have led so far. It’s all you’ve got!

 

28 Life Changes That Will Improve Your Happiness Overnight

From Visually.

Download “How To Create Happy Moments That Will Last a Lifetime” Cheatsheet Here

A Scientific Guide To Creating Happy Moments

“The journey is never ending. There’s always gonna be growth, improvement, adversity; you just gotta take it all in and do what’s right, continue to grow, continue to live in the moment.”
Antonio Brown

There are scientific ways you can learn how to create happiness in your life. The idea is to design the life you want and go out and do it. It isn’t about winning or losing but what you did to get there.

We always remember the memories of what we did and how we did it instead of the final moment.

What have you done to get where you are today?

Do you appreciate the obstacles you had to overcome to get where you are today?

According to Paul Dolan, a leading happiness scholar, “We tell stories about the things we think should make us happy, but sometimes, when we look a bit closer, we’re not really that happy at all. I think we should be paying attention to how we feel day-to-day and moment-to-moment.”

The scientific formula for creating happy moments really comes down to this… Pay attention to the everyday experiences that give you pleasure and purpose, then organize your life so that you are doing more of those things.

So why is this so hard to do?

Most of us live our lives on autopilot that we overlook the little things in life and actually walk around in a daze. We let ourselves be pushed and pulled in so many direction that we can’t appreciate living in the moment without having something get in our way.

Paul goes on to say, “It’s about tuning in to what you are doing, who you are doing it with and how it makes you feel.”

He then asks one very important question. ” “How much worry, stress, anger, joy or contentment do you experience on a given day?” 

Science has found that we make happiness to complicated. Instead, we should make happiness as easy as possible so that we can enjoy those precious moments without feeling guilty.

Stop Leaving Special Moments To Chance

“No matter how dark the moment, love and hope are always possible.”
George Chakiris

living happy moments

According to bestselling author Eric Barker, “We get tired. We get lazy. And then boom — suddenly CVS is loaded with Christmas ornaments and it signals the end of another year. No good. If we want great memories we have to make them.”

How do we accomplish this?

1- Make those moments rise above the the daily routine – Allow those times to make us feel engaged, joyful, totally amazed, and fully motivated in the moment.

2- Boost your senses – Actually work at using all your sense to enjoy the moment. Close your eyes and listen, open your eyes and see, open your heart and feel. The ideas is to use everything God gave you to live in the moment.

3- Raise the stakes in life – Make things worthwhile by exacting the importance of what you are doing. Heighten the moment by being actively engaged instead of being a bystander.

4- Write a new script for your life – Stop following a set script for your life. It’s, old, boring and has outgrown it’s usefulness. Instead, write a new and exciting script that puts you front and center of a life you can be proud of. Exciting is in, boring is out. Try it… you may never go back to the old script you were living in.

5- Inject novelty into your life – You don’t have to be James Bond to live like James Bond. The idea is to mix things up and bring others into your new adventure. Be prepared to have fun!

There’s nothing more boring than to live a life unlived. Go out and make some happy moments. Don’t cloister yourself in. be bold, have fun and actually live!

create happy moments that last

Why You Should Never Give Up On Your Dreams And Ambitions

the importance of dreams

Why Your Special Dreams Are Important

“A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.”
Colin Powell

When we were growing up as a kids, we had all kinds of dreams rattling around in our heads. There was no one to tell us we couldn’t achieve what we wanted to achieve. In fact, we acted out our dreams as if we were already living with them. As we got older, our dreams started to die as did our confidence in ourselves.

Well, I’m here to tell you that no matter how old you are you don’t have to give up on those dreams. Don’t be that person who lives with regret. You may have had some setbacks that made you think twice about whether you were good enough to achieve it but remember this, perseverance pays off in the long run.

The world is full of people who gave up on their dreams way too early only to live with regret later in life.

Do you want to be that person?

I hope not! I hope you understand that dreams are what guides us through life. They inspire and motivate us to try new things, to take chances and find out how far we can push ourselves.

The idea that having dreams and living them are not important is a fallacy. This comes from people who are jealous of others realizing their dreams, who are afraid of making their dreams a reality, and from those who followed their dreams but couldn’t make them work.

This is an important concept to understand as not every dream will work out but if you don’t try your dreams will die when you die.

I don’t know about you but my dreams are important to me. It’s where I find my purpose in life. It’s what I was put here to do and become. If I disregard it because it’s too hard or I’m afraid I’ll fail then I’m telling the world I’m not worthy of my dreams.

Is that how you feel?

Can you comprehend the significance of that in your own life?

Are you willing to make the supreme sacrifice to become what you were created for?

Are you willing to go through the ups and downs, take your lumps and still be on fire to make those incredible dreams a reality?

If so, let move on to putting those ambitions to work.

Putting Your Ambitions To Work

“A man without ambition is dead. A man with ambition but no love is dead. A man with ambition and love for his blessings here on earth is ever so alive.”
Pearl Bailey

Author Zachary Slayback writes, “Your ambitions are your destination.”

So, where are they taking you?

Are you an ambitious person or someone who is cautious at every turn?

Neel Burton, psychiatrist and author of Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of the Emotions states, “On average, ambitious people attain higher levels of education and income, build more prestigious careers, and report higher overall levels of life satisfaction. Many of man’s greatest achievements are the products, or accidents, of their ambition.”

Your greatest achievement will come when you take risks. That’s what ambition is all about. When you expose yourself to new experiences and interact with others, you force yourself to grow. Ambition fuels that growth so that you are always moving forward.

Sometimes, your ambition makes you bite off more than you can chew but a good dose of reality is good for ambitious people. On the other hand, having so many goals and ambitions but no motivation is a recipe you don’t want to work on.

Ambition is a hunger that must be fed. It is the drive to succeed at all costs.. How often have you had people tell you to slow down and take a breather? You need to harness the drive and use it to the best of your ability.

Are you the kind of person who wants to serve others? To make a difference in the world? You’ll never get there if you give up!

Marie Forleo, the world-renowned life coach, motivational speaker and best-selling author says this about ambition: “Honor that hunger you feel to learn, explore and create. Ambition isn’t bad. It’s beautiful. And when it’s channeled in service of your highest self, it truly can change the world.”

I want to change the world around me. I want to inspire people. Bring them to God and help them reach their full potential. I can’t do that if I don’t harness my ambition and set it in motion down the right pathway. I need to channel my dreams in a way that keeps me grounded but inspired.

I need to push myself out of my comfort zone and into a place where it’s sink or swim because that’s the place where I do my best work.

Why? Because it is in the moment where the true and authentic me comes out.

When you are authentic in your vision, your ambition takes over and you can meet the challenges of life and still reach your goals.

Do Your Actions Match Your Ambitions?

“Love often leads on to ambition, but seldom does one return from ambition to love.”
Francois de La Rochefoucauld

ambition

You can have all the ambition in the world but if your action don’t serve your ambitions well enough, you’ll be stuck in neutral. Kind of like a chicken without a head running around in circles doing nothing but making noise.

You’ll be better served by holding yourself accountable for your actions and learning from your mistakes. It’s not a crap-shoot. It’s more like making sure your goals and your action meet in the middle where you can adjust things so you stay on track.

When setbacks come how will you respond to them?

“The key is to be prepared for setbacks and respond in a positive and productive way” according to Chip Augustus. This avoids the urge to give up or to go down in flames if you don’t prepare yourself.

Finally, what are you prepared to do to make your ambitions come true?

Are you willing to put in the time, energy and patience to make your dreams come true? No goal is too farfetched if you are willing to make it happen.

Harriet Tubman said it best…“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.” 

Download Your “Why You Should Never Give Up On Your Dreams And Ambitions” Cheatsheet Here

Why Giving Up Is Never The Answer To Anything

“Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.” 
Marilyn vos Savant

Try OR Give Up

Author Nicolas Cole states that “When you “give up, you continue to carry that baggage with you long into the future. You still think about it. You wonder. You may even feel regret. That’s very different than fighting as long as you can for an idea and then realizing it’s time to pivot, or shift, or move on all together.”

Most people cannot make that distinction. They fight the losing battle because they’re afraid of failing but learning from your failures is what all success stories are made of.

He goes on to say “When you “give up” on something, it encourages the habit. You start to be “ok” with quitting–and that’s not good. Resilience is the habit you want to practice here.”

No one wants to be a quitter or be known as a quitter. Unfortunately, it’s a habit far too many people have acquired.

According to Tim Denning, the blogger for Entrepreneur.com, we all go through phases where we want to give up. We lose motivation, our hearts are just not in it but sometimes, “It’s easier to give up and take the easy road rather than keep yourself going.”

The easy way out doesn’t do us any good. We cannot develop the skills necessary to make a difference in life. We lose out on the adventures life hands us and the world loses out on what we have to offer.

He goes on to say “I conditioned myself to believe that to give up on life in general and settle for mediocrity was the same as accepting that it was time to die. When you give up on life, you are ending any chance of success you may have ever had.”

Is that what you have to look forward to? A life of mediocrity? Stopping yourself from becoming what God has intended you to be?

I don’t think so.

Too many people have overcome obstacles to make a life for themselves. They are my heroes. They inspire me! Tim is one of those guys that you root for.

Why?

He never gives up or gives in and he is successful because he doesn’t just blindly go after things. He works hard, knows what he wants to accomplish and finds a way.

He finishes up by stating:

Never give up on your dream.
Never give up on romance.
Never give up on yourself.
Most of all, never give up on life.

“The answer for how to never give up is to have a purpose greater than you. The challenge with your must-have goal is that if it only inspires you, you’ll lose momentum eventually.”

I make it a habit to study people who are successful and learn not only from their victories but from their mistakes. I see a determination I want to mimic and when they find a way to overcome challenges and problems, it gives me hope.

Adam Sicinski writes this about challenges: “It is not so much what happens to us that actually makes a difference, it is rather what we do with what happens to us that determines where we will end up, what we will have, and how we will be transformed by our experiences.”

Keep that in mind the next time you think about giving up. Your experiences are what drives you forward.

Here Are 7 Reasons Why You Should Never Give Up
  1. Anything Is Possible 
    In life, anything is possible. The world is filled with people taking chances, setting records and doing the impossible. Are you any different? As long as you’re alive you have the chance to be special. “To all the other dreamers out there, don’t ever stop or let the world’s negativity disenchant you or your spirit. If you surround yourself with love and the right people, anything is possible.” Adam Green
  2. You Are Stronger Than You Think 
    You will never know how strong you are until you push yourself beyond its limits. Success doesn’t come to weak of heart but from the strength of our soul. “When life knocks us down and it seems impossible to get back up, when life demands more from us than we are able to give, then more than ever, we need to find a way to do what needs to be done. It is at just these times that we come face to face with a reserve of strength we never knew we had.” Dwayne Savaya
  3. Be An Inspiration To Others
    By refusing to give up, you will be an inspiration to someone who is thinking of quitting themself. Those who succeed become the leaders and inspire those that need help in their own journey. To inspire others is to awaken the possibilities still dormant in another’s heart. It is how we help one another to do great things that were never imagined before. ”Average leaders raise the bar on themselves; good leaders raise the bar for others; great leaders inspire others to raise their own bar.” Orrin Woodward 
  4. You Are Closer To Success Than You Know
    Often, we see successful people and think it must have been easy for them yet we think we are still far away from being successful ourselves. The key is to understand that success isn’t something glamorous but keeping the faith when things look bleak, staying positive when things are crumbling all around you, and being consistent in working towards your ultimate version of what you want to accomplish. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” Thomas A. Edison
  5. Quitting Sends The Wrong Message About You And Your Intentions
    You know that actions speak louder than words but your brain doesn’t. The brain cannot distinguish between the real and the imagined so when your intentions lack resolve so do you. Don’t set a precedent that you will have a hard time living down. “The thing I most connect with is the idea of not giving up. And that’s a thing I have in my own life. You have to trust your instincts and keep trying.” Callie Thorne
  6. The Consequences Of Quitting Are Enormous
    There’s a high a price indeed for abandoning your dreams and because quitting is the path of least resistance, we don’t understand the true consequences until it’s too way late. We make rash decisions that over time, plays with our emotions and causes physical and mental side-effects which we never get over.   “Never let life impede on your ability to manifest your dreams. Dig deeper into your dreams and deeper into yourself and believe that anything is possible, and make it happen.” Corin Nemec
  7. The Process Shapes You Before The Rewards Kick In
    Setting goals and achieving them starts with the process. This process is what shapes us, teaches us perseverance and builds self-confidence. Greatness comes in the pursuit of a worthy goal as we are forged in the fire of life. This is how we are shaped into the persons we ultimately want to become. “The benefits of the accomplished journey cannot be weighed in terms of perfect moments, but in terms of how this journey affects and changes our character.” Ella Maillart
Finding Your Purpose Is The Key To Your Dreams And Ambitions

“Big results require big ambitions.” 
Heraclitus

Why do we do the things we do?

Why do we even try if we fail more than not?

It’s the human spirit that is alive and well. It’s the curiosity to find out what we are capable of. It’s also the reason why, “Every success story is accompanied by some form of adversity or struggle” according to author Gary Savoie.

Every one of us has a struggle. For some, it is a major struggle that takes years of patience and determination while for others, luck, timing and planning allow them to reach their goals at a record pace. The idea here is not about giving up on your goals but overcoming the struggles that make us stronger in the long run.

I’m no stranger to failure but that doesn’t mean I give up on my dreams. The fact that I’m more determined now than I have ever been is a credit to my attitude and spirit. Life has never been easy but that’s not an excuse for me. Instead, it’s my motivation. It’s my inspiration.

So what if I come from a broken home!

So what if my first love died of leukemia!

So what if I never finished college!

So what if I was nearly killed in two separate car accidents!

I’m not making light of the fact that these things happened. They are a part of life and I’ve accepted them but I don’t let them hinder me. Not in the least.

What part of your past has caused you to question your dreams?

What part of your struggle has caused you the most pain?

Use them as motivation to push yourself to the limits because you are worthy of reaching your goals. You DO have what it takes to succeed but it’s not about the final step but what you do to get there.

If you already know your purpose in life, GREAT! If not, examine your heart and your life. See what talents God has given you. Find what makes you happy. Plan out your strategy and GO FOR IT!

On the other side of the coin… . Imagine how your life will be if you give up on your dreams?

What would that look like to you?

What kind of life would you be leading?

Would you be happy?

Would you be sad?

How would you like to be known for?

Adrianna Langford says, “Think of all the situations that you have been through, how bad you fought for the dream you wanted the most, and most importantly for those of you that are still struggling to reach their destination this is not the time to quit.”

What drives you to do the things you do?

Why do you wake up in the morning everyday?

Your purpose is filled with a myriad of daily questions you must answer to realize what your dreams and ambitions are telling you.

The same thing can be said for your reasons.

If money is all that drives you then you will feel hollow inside once you do reach your dreams because there is nothing left to pursue.

If love is all you care about then your dreams and ambitions will reflect that. It’s not always about the actual dreams you are pursuing but your reason why.

If you can answer your reason why… you can find your purpose. Once you have your main purpose, your dreams and ambitions will come into focus and push you on the road to making things happen.

authenticity

Here are a couple of questions you must answer before you can take the next step

Am I in an authentic alignment with my beliefs and my dreams?

Do I take the initiative to make things happen?

Is your mindset in alignment with your ambitions.

Just because you think you want to do something doesn’t mean you are going to take the action to make it so. I know too many people who are married to negativity. They don’t believe they can achieve what they put their mind to. They give up because their excuses are too powerful in their own mind.

I also have people trying to stop me from trying to make my dreams come true. They think they’re stopping me from the pain of failure of think I’m not capable but I don’t think like them nor do i act like them.

You’ve got to put your big boy boots on and make the attempt. Not some half-hearted one but push yourself to the max. No one ever accomplished anything without some kind of fear but facing your fears is what life is all about. Without fear, We’d all be sitting on the couch watching television instead making our dreams come true

Megan Shauri writes this about fear, “Fear is a great deterrent to going after a dream. What if we fail? What if we realize that we are not as good as we thought? What if we can’t do it?”

Too many what ifs and not enough can do’s. Fear is only real in your mind. Let me give you an example.

My youngest daughter loves to sing and act. In her freshman year of high school, she tried out and got one of the leads of the musical “Legally Blonde.” For two months she practiced her lines and learned all the songs. She realized her dream of performing in front of a big crowd.

One month after the play was over, she was offered an audition for another musical outside of school. This was from a local production company and she gave every excuse in the book as to why she didn’t want to do it. I wouldn’t let her get off that easy. I pushed her because I knew it would be good for her. Well, she went in kicking and screaming but when it came time to audition, she nailed the part.

On the way home, she thanked me for pushing her and realized all the fears she had forced her to go deep inside and find her passion and let it come alive.

What Have We Learned Today?

  • If you want to do something with your life, you must take chances and find your passion.
  • Your dreams are important.
  • You deserve everything you work for.
  • Find your why for doing what you want to do.
  • Be authentic in your alignment of what you want to do.
  • Have fun doing it.
  • Never give up on your dreams.

The world is made up of all kinds of dreams. FLook for people that share your passion and ambitions and find a way to make it work. If you fail, get up, dust yourself off, learn from your mistakes, and don’t give up. There is something waiting at the end of your dreams and it’s up to you to find it!

never give up on your dreams

Unleash The Power Within: Why Self Motivation Really Does Work

self motivation

Self Confidence and Motivation

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”
Lao Tzu

Are you looking to improve your self confidence and motivation?

Are you self motivated?

Do you have the intestinal fortitude to meet challenges and self motivate yourself?

If you’re like most people. you can only go so far in motivating yourself to achieve your ultimate goals. The rest should be left up to others who can get you to where you want to go in life.

As a life coach, I find most motivational information to be too much on the cheerleading side and light on the real motivation. It’s one thing to try and motivate people but let’s get real here… most people don’t have it in them to motivate themselves. They lack the motivation and inspiration to make a real difference in their lives.

If you want to unleash the power within, you must be willing to have someone coach you and be accountable for helping you achieve your goals. If you’re unwilling to do this, the odds are overwhelming in failure’s favor.

“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.”

Wayne Dyer

So, what’s lacking in finding your inner power?

1- Understanding where your power comes from – For goal-oriented individuals, the first thing you must be aware of is how powerful the human mind is. It’s not all about going out and achieving a goal because you can, but firing up your inner spirit and forcing yourself out of your comfort zone.

This stops most people from even trying to motivate themselves. They don’t give themselves enough credit for how strong they are intellectually and emotionally to carry out their particular endeavor. The days of having someone yell at you like a drill instructor to motivate and inspire you are long gone. No one likes to go through that type of treatment.

2- Limiting beliefs – Do you believe in yourself? Do you really believe you can do something you put your mind to? These questions get to the heart of whether we have or don’t have self confidence. Self confidence and motivation lie at the heart of fulfilling our goals but if you lack the proper belief system, how can you unleash your personal power? Often times, we sabotage our efforts without really knowing why until we look back and see it was our limiting beliefs which short-circuited our results.

Many of our limiting beliefs com from our childhood, especially from our parents, teachers and peers. We grow up thinking or told we can’t do something even though we’ve never tried to do it or believed we would fail so we don’t give a full effort. Failure is not the problem, it’s the belief that we will fail no matter how hard we try to succeed.

You cannot self motivate yourself with limiting beliefs. Most of these limiting beliefs belong to one or more of the three basic reasons why we do limit our beliefs.

They are:

  1. I’m not good enough to (insert your problem here).
  2. Making mistakes and failing are bad.
  3. I’m not important enough to receive (insert what you want here).

3- Procrastination – it’s one thing to want to do something … it’s a totally different thing to actually do it. We always seem find a way not to follow through with our goals or action. Procrastination affects everyone no matter how successful you are.

In David Allen’s bestselling book, “Getting Things Done” he talks about the 2-minute rule for overcoming procrastination. In the 2-minute rule, If the particular task takes less than two minutes to finish, then follow the rule and do it right now or risk putting it off till later and then things will pile up and you will feel overwhelmed.

According to James Clear, “Most of the tasks that you procrastinate on aren’t actually difficult to do — you have the talent and skills to accomplish them — you just avoid starting them for one reason or another.” I think everyone believes this but the don’t take it to heart. They suffer from thinking of creative reasons why right now isn’t the best time to do something but in reality… it is and I will show you.

The world is filled with dreamers who dream their lives away thinking of great things they will do but never get around to doing them. When you start an action, you usually take it to the finish line unless an interruption comes.

Don’t believe me?

Think of something you wanted to do but something caught your attention and you never got around to it. Now think of something you wanted to do and you did take action. You were motivated enough to start and once you did, you got into it and took it to its logical conclusion.

What was the key word here?

That’s right… motivation. You need that to complete any action you take. The only problem is… pushing yourself to take the action. Once you start, you’re in good shape to finish. This is why most self-motivation manuals and talks don’t work. The info is good but the motivational techniques are lacking.

What you need is to learn the proper motivational techniques that work for you not the one-size fits all techniques that promote procrastination.

So, where do you find these motivational techniques?

 

Download Your “Unleash The Power Within” Cheatsheet Here

 

Motivational Techniques Training

“Noble and great. Courageous and determined. Faithful and fearless. That is who you are and who you have always been. And understanding it can change your life, because this knowledge carries a confidence that cannot be duplicated any other way.”
Sheri L. Dew

If you want to succeed with self motivation, you need to learn the proper motivational techniques that get you off your butt and instill in you a respect for taking action. Self confidence comes from doing not emotional feelings. Working and achieving build self-esteem and allow you to take calculated risks when the reward is great.

Here are some 7 motivational techniques to put into place which help you to be successful in any endeavor.

1- Creative a Positive Environment Nothing motivates us more than being positive. Once you let negativity grab a hold, it’s almost impossible to get rid of. The type of environment you surround yourself with is crucial to the outcome of your desired goal. Put yourself in a negative environment and it’s like putting a ten ton weight on your shoulders. It literally knocks you down and you feel like you’re lifting a great weight off your shoulder at the same time you’re trying to accomplish something. The positive environment takes that weight off your shoulder and makes you float like you’re walking on air. The difference between negative and positive is all in how it affects you both mentally and physically.

2- Connect To Your Most Inner Values – Those values that you hold close to your heart are the ones that motivate you to take action. Your heart and mind knows the difference between good and bad and psychologically, it will hold you back even if you don’t understand why. It’s a mechanism we are born with that helps us to manage how we live, love and act. It’s more than that little voice in your head… it your brain’s way of telling you whether to stop or go. Those inner values are really your core values and they are responsible for you becoming self-aware, being a confident person and by following through with the principles and purpose for which we were created for.

3- Surround Yourself With The Right People – According to the great motivational speaker Jim Rohn, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”  Are you spending your time with the right people?

Leon Logothetis, the noted world traveler, adventurer, author, and TV host, asks four questions regarding the company you keep. They are…

  • Do they make you feel like you have what it takes to reach your goals?
  • Do they support you?
  • Do they make you feel attractive?
  • You you feel happy and energized after spending time with them?

If the answer is yes then you have made a wise choice. When people share the same likes, dislikes, and are interested in the same things, generally they are the types of people you want to hang out with. The ones who complain, are jealous of others and make you feel squeamish to be around obviously are not great influencers. But on the other hand, you don’t want people to be yes men. You want to surround yourself with people who challenge you to better yourself, want to see the best in you and tell you the real truth so you have all the information you need to make better decisions with your life

4- Find Your Immediate Why – The famous Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoyevsky once wrote, “The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.” Your why is what you live for. It is the roadmap that gives your live purpose. Without it, you are just a drifter, someone who never takes action, a dreamer of dreams that’s afraid to take the next step. Are you doing things for the right reason? Your why answers that question and gives you clarity and direction and who doesn’t want clarity and direction in a world that has lost its way?

5- Discover The How That Works For Your Personality – Your personality plays a huge part in how motivation works for you. If your are the A-type personality, you’ll just head first without a thought but if you are shy or are the nervous type, it will take a much more to push you. research has found that openness to experience plays a big part in how motivated we get to any particular activity. So does the level of control we have towards the activity. Different types of personalities behave differently when control is the determining factor. What type of personality do you have and does it affect your motivation? Learn what types of things motivate you and use them to make the How work for your personality. Maybe the problem with getting motivated in not in the actual action you take but the type of How you use.

6- Use Positive Self Talk – In a landmark June 2016 study published in the journal Frontiers in Psychology entitled, “Brief Online Training Enhances Competitive Performance: Findings of the BBC Lab UK Psychological Skills Intervention Study” it was determined that self-talk is the most effective motivational technique.

According to Christopher Bergland, the technique of using image visualization and the ‘if-then’ planning strategy showed that  across the board, “Researchers found that those using motivational self-talk—for example telling yourself “I can do better next time”—led to optimal performance during every portion of a competition task.”

This is stunning as it shows that we can actually self-talk our way to success. Christopher explains how it helped him in his own quest to become a world record holder in the Triple Ironman Competition by stating, “Well crafted self-talk allowed me to fortify my conviction that I had the ability and chutzpah to go farther and faster than others, without ever feeling cocky.”

7- Imagine You’re Already Successful – As much as everything else is important here, without this inner belief, you’re dead in the water. According to the Code Of Living blog, “As you achieve more success, your drive or motivation increases. And as you face more failure, your drive or motivation decreases.” Thinking you are already successful is all about dreaming big. It’s where you start the engine of success. Every goal you achieve begins with an idea from your imagination and takes off from there. Imagination is the magnet that brings all ideas forward. Success is just the byproduct of an imagination that puts motivation into action.

Why Is Self Motivation Important?

displaying self confidence

“You are essentially who you create yourself to be and all that occurs in your life is the result of your own making.” 
Stephen Richards
Think Your way to Success: Let Your Dreams Run Free

We see how self motivation can help us achieve our goals but what are the real benefits of self motivation?

People who are self-motivated are more organised, have better time management skills and have higher levels of self-esteem and confidence. These skills are important key to being successful not only in life but in achieving our set goals.

Jack Canfield, the #1 bestselling author of “Chicken Soup For The Soul” states that self-motivators “Learn because they WANT to, not because they think they “have” to.” That’s an important lesson for those who are waiting for motivation to bite them in the ass.

It’s a lifelong pursuit for knowledge, wisdom and discovery. Jack goes on to say, “Self-motivated learners tend to have a deeper understanding of their own strengths and weaknesses.” This means self-motivators view life as a never ending quest to learn and improve themselves. They’re not intent to settle for mediocrity.

Life has a way of throwing trials and tribulations our way but those who have the strongest self-motivation are usually the ones who succeed at all costs. They   are the ones with vision and use a self-motivation as their chief strategy in finding their true calling.

Being a self-motivator provides inner strength. It is that strength which allows an individual to accomplish great things. It is also a confidence booster. As you motivate yourself through the maze of life, you’ll realize how strong you really are and that’s the best confidence booster anyone can have.

What is it that motivates you?

How can you motivate yourself?

By understanding the techniques I’ve written about here you can take your confidence to the next level and achieve your own measure of greatness in the world.

unleash the power within you

Why Do So Many People End Up Trapped In Unhappiness?

the unhappiness trap

Are You Trapped In Unhappiness?

“In this life, we have to make many choices. Some are very important choices. Some are not. Many of our choices are between good and evil. The choices we make, however, determine to a large extent our happiness or our unhappiness, because we have to live with the consequences of our choices.”
James E. Faust

In a Harris Poll of Americans ages 18 and older in May 2017, it was found that only 1 in 3 could actually say they were happy. This poll determined that those who were the happiest were men and women from high-income households and those with at least high school diploma or less.

According to John Gerzema, the CEO of  the Harris Poll, “To me, it feels like a cultural lack of presence, We are so caught up in our texting, multitasking, jobs and commutes that we seem to have less and less free time. Older people age 65+ are the happiest.”

This shines a light on what is happening to people all over the world. It’s not just about politics, the threat of war or what color our skin is but a lack of closeness between people of all ages and ethnicities. People are just not as emotionally attached as they used to be. Finding real happiness is beyond the reach of most people.

The idea that we feel trapped is echoed in the fact so many people don’t enjoy the jobs they are at or  feel they get enough quality time with their family. Their energy level is reflected in lack of good health and they feel they don’t have the time to do anything about it.

Why is this such a major problem in the world and what can be done to combat the unhappiness to which a majority of people sadly find themselves falling into?

The Trap Of Being Unhappy

“There are seeds of self-destruction in all of us that will bear only unhappiness if allowed to grow.”
Dorothea Brande

being unhappy

Essentially, it all comes down to living in some of a trap. We fall into this trap, not recognizing our fall until it’s way too late to do anything about it.

The trap innocently begins after high school and quietly manifests itself as a maze of quests and searches that forces us to make decisions based on emotions and not logic.

Decision #1 – Either you leave high school and go into college, take on an apprenticeship or get stuck with a low entry job with no benefits and low salary. You have to fight your way up the ladder or get stuck working more than one low-paying job to make ends meet.

Decision #2 – Live with your parents until you can afford to move out or give up your freedom and feel bound by your parents rules and regulations. Even though they love and care about you, being a twenty-something living in your parents home puts undue pressure to “Make it” in the real world.

We all know, this is the age when communication is at its lowest between family members and teenage angst gives way to realities of the real world.

Decision #3 – If you took on the apprenticeship, then you work hard to stand on your own two feet and become a working member of society. If you went to college, you must spend four years or more pushing yourself to the limit to graduate and get that “Great job” that will allow you to move out on your own and begin the life you dreamed about when you started college in the first place.

You enjoy the freedom and the means that work offers you as well as the feeling of success, so you climb the ladder. You intend to find work that is fulfilling and rewarding at some point in the future but that future never seems to come.

Decision #4 – You meet someone and maybe get married and have children. Either way, you now have too many responsibilities and commitments to people other than yourself thrust upon your shoulders at such a young age. You obviously need that job to make ends meet but it isn’t the life you imagined.

Decision # 5 – You start to accumulate expensive items like cars and televisions while working longer hours with more responsibility. The trappings of life box you in and it feels like a prison. You come home in the evenings exhausted and with no energy to pursue other interests or things that quench the thirst in your heart. Stress and a lack of exercise and or passion leaves you tired and unhealthy. You feel like you’re too old to begin a new career or to change your life.

Does all of this sound familiar? It’s a trap that befalls many of us but it doesn’t have to be if you don’t want it to be. Awareness of the problem puts you one step ahead of everyone else. It’s one step closer to breaking out of the unhappiness trap!

Download The “Why Do So Many People End Up Trapped In Unhappiness?” Cheatsheet Here

Spiritual Happiness Versus Economic Happiness

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, or worn. It is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace & gratitude.”
Denis Waitley

“We need to look at why we are unhappy,” says Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, founder of the Art of Living spiritual movement. ”Usually, it’s lack of energy in body and mind.”  Living in a consumer-driven culture doesn’t help with being a happier person. He goes on to say “When people are fed up with their routine, and life seems to have no aim and meaning, then people do get depressed, despite having so many physical comforts.”

According to Time’s Special Edition entitled “The Science Of Happiness” it was determined that “Scientists have found, again and again, that those with a spiritual practice or who follow religious beliefs tend to be happier than those who don’t. Study after study has found that religious people tend to be less depressed and less anxious than nonbelievers, better able to handle the vicissitudes of life than nonbelievers. “

They goes on to state, “A 2015 survey by researchers at the London School of Economics and the Erasmus University Medical Center in the Netherlands found that participating in a religious organization was the only social activity associated with sustained happiness—even more than volunteering for a charity, taking educational courses or participating in a political or community organization. It’s as if a sense of spirituality and an active, social religious practice were an effective vaccine against the virus of unhappiness.”

It seems that all the studies about spiritual versus economic happiness realize that the higher the standard of living the happier people tend to be but on the other side of the spectrum, the higher the inequality between economic divisions in society, the higher people tend to fall into the unhappy spectrum.

This no more apparent than in the September 3, 2015 paper in Psychological Science entitled, “Income Inequality Explains Why Economic Growth Does Not Always Translate to an Increase in Happiness” from Shigehiro Oishi at the University of Virginia and Selin Kesebir at the London Business School.

“Every single time income inequality decreased between two time points, the percentage of ‘very happy’ responses went up,” the researchers write. “And every time income inequality increased, the percentage of ‘very happy’ responses went down. In other words, although economic growth was steady and strong during this period, the evenness of the income distribution was fluctuating, and happiness was inversely related to income inequality.”

This is echoed by John Robbins, son of the co-founder of Baskin-Robbins Ice cream franchise when he said, “I believe there is truth in both camps. Up to a certain point, money is vital to happiness for almost everyone. It can buy food, clothing, and housing and provide for other basic needs. Once a person’s basic needs are met, though, money takes on a different meaning.”

That’s where the spiritual side is missing from today’s society. We are either in rapid pursuit of financial gain or jealous of others who are rich. It’s an either or situation which leaves out the spiritual side of things that can bring on true happiness.

On the Action For Happiness website they talk about getting in touch with your spiritual side. They explain this by stating: “Living happily depends on how we are in our inner lives – our thoughts, emotions, beliefs and desires. Having a spiritual dimension means finding a sense of inner peace – both peace of mind and peace in the heart. It also means allowing our inner values to guide how we interact with the world around us – our concern for others, our connection with the natural world and our interest in making a positive contribution to society.”

This is something most of us miss. We end up trying to balance both the spiritual side and the financial side but lose out to the trappings of society. If we pursue a more traditional approach of satisfying the inner soul then we will be better equipped and able to handle the economic portion of our lives.

Of course, that’s easier said than done. Tell that to someone who doesn’t have enough to eat or someone who can’t afford a place to live. Happiness is relative to how we live… from our values and how we were brought up to the influences of society and our peers both from growing up to going to school to our working lives.

Ending the Unhappiness Trap

“So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality, nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit.”
Christopher McCandless

feeling trapped

One of the byproducts of unhappiness in society is an increase in medications. According to the Market Watch article, “7 Reasons Americans Are Unhappy”  from August 30, 2016, “The rate of antidepressant use has surged 400% over the last decade, according to the CDC, though that may also be due to the heavy marketing of drugs like Zoloft, Lexapro and Paxil. The percentage of workers testing positive for illicit drugs such as cocaine, amphetamines and methamphetamines has increased for the second consecutive year in the general U.S. workforce, according to a 2015 workplace urine drug test of more than 6.6 million tests by Quest Diagnostics, a company that provides clinical laboratory tests on potential and/or current employees for companies. Some 4.7% of the general U.S. workforce tested positive for illegal drugs in 2014, compared with 4.3% in 2013.”

People are drowning their sorrows in drugs to offset the unhappiness they feel in everyday life. It doesn’t help that doctors and drug companies are pushing these drugs on people who most of the time, really don’t need them.

Unhappiness has become an epidemic more than the drugs themselves and the drugs are just a way to mask the sadness people feel.

Scott Mautz, the author of “Find the Fire: Ignite Your Inspiration and Make Work Exciting Again” has an interesting take on the unhappiness trap. In an interview with Dr. Annie McKee (University of Pennsylvania) she states The helplessness trap is the most dangerous of all. When you feel disempowered, like a victim of your circumstances, it’s a dangerous place to be as it’s hard to take bold steps.”

This type of trap sneaks up on us over time and forces us to make bad decisions which we regret having to deal with.

But sometimes, we’re our worst enemies.

Here Are 5 Ways You Can End The Unhappiness Trap Without Going Crazy Or Falling Into Depression

1- STOP COMPLAINING

If you notice, most people who are unhappy seem to complain about everything all the time. They put so much emphasis on their complaints but do nothing to make their lives better. It’s as if they need to complain to feel important  in some kind of weird way. They keep their minds and hearts focus on life’s negative aspects instead of feeling all the positivity going on around. they end up blind to life… just their own pain and heartache.

When you stop complaining you take the emphasis off of your complaints and back on to your own responsibility. Responsible people are happier because they are dealing with life the best they can and live with their decisions whether good or bad.

Ken Wert, the founder of Meant 2 Be Happy Blog states, “The habit of complaint is a self-inflicted wound. It darkens horizons and amplifies the ugly. Never ignore warning signs or hide from reality, of course. Just don’t dwell so exclusively on it.”

2- STOP BLAMING OTHERS

Don’t you hate it when people refuse to blame themselves for all the things happening in their life?  They look at life as a garden filled with weeds which they planted but don’t want the responsibility of pruning away the bad . It’s always someone else’s fault, someone else’s responsibility and we keep the focus on who, what and where instead looking inward and see where we went wrong and more importantly, how we can fix the situation.

Blame is a trap that is self-inflicted and a band aid does not heal the wound. It is forever left to fester and infect others..

3- STOP COMPARING

Those who are unhappy use comparison to make themselves feel better. They compare their situation to others, themselves to others and see things in a distorted type of funhouse mirror where everything is not as it appears to be.

Some people go their entire lives dissatisfied with how they look, how they feel because they can’t live up to what others appear to be. They copy the outward appearance of others but don’t know or understand what that person feels on the inside. We’ve all become clones of one another while distancing ourselves from  the emotional part that makes us who we are.

It’s time to embrace your uniqueness and love who you are. God made you this way for a reason and He loves you just the way you are. Why try to be something you’re not just to please people who don’t appreciate the real you.

4- STOP WORRYING SO MUCH

Stop being a worry-wart! If you are plagued with various fears, middling doubt and overwhelming anxiety you’ll find that life will send very few things you can find joy in.

Worry doesn’t solve any problem. Instead, be cognizant of what you are going through but work at solving your problems in a healthy way.

Everyone has problems but those who take them to the next step with worry rob themselves of a peaceful existence clouded with doubts and causes both mental and physical harm.

Learn to trust God that things will work out. Hand your problems, doubts and fears to God and let things work out according to His will. Trust that things will work out alright. Ken Wert goes on to say, “Let go of the need to control. Take reasonable precautions, of course, but not out of fear that something terrible will otherwise happen, but out of respect for your health and well-being.”

5- LEARN TO LIVE WITH GRATITUDE

If there is one thing most people lack it is the idea of being grateful for what they have. Being jealous of others and what they have, the lives they lead or what they do is a recipe for true unhappiness.

The happiest people on earth know that being grateful brings inner peace and counting your blessings makes you a more positive person.

Here Are 3 Ways Gratitude Can Help You To Be A Happier Person

  • It reminds you of what’s important in life
  • It reminds you to thank others and put others first
  • It reminds you of the positive things in your life

Once you understand what makes you unhappy you can change those things and turn your unhappiness into a life of gratitude and thankfulness. That is where happiness exists. Each one of us has the chance to be happy but it’s up to each person to work at being happy. It’s your decision. Make the best of it!

avoiding unhappiness

Turn Your Biggest Disappointments Into Your Greatest Opportunities

turning disappointment into opportunity

Turning Disappointments Into Massive Opportunities

“Our heavenly Father understands our disappointment, suffering, pain, fear, and doubt. He is always there to encourage our hearts and help us understand that He’s sufficient for all of our needs.”

Charles Stanley

Each of us has had huge disappointments in life. From losing your best friend to not getting the job you wanted so badly but disappointments are what motivates us to take advantage of opportunities when they arise.

I remember when I was just starting out as a writer. I was all excited to put pen to paper and change the world. So, when I released my first book in 2012 entitled “Warning: Your Healthy Diet May Be Killing You” and it failed to become a best seller, I was very upset. It took me two long years to research and write and the information was going to change the lives of millions of people… or so I thought.

It was such a high to finish my book that I didn’t bother to market it until I actually completed it. Big mistake! But I definitely learned my lesson and carried it on to each and every book I wrote. The lesson learned gave me an opportunity to figure out what to do next.

That’s when I found out about a three day seminar called Author 101 University happening in Los Angeles in April of 2015, I immediately jumped on the opportunity to attend. It was a chance to not only learn about the writing part but how to market my book as well.

The idea was to be around talented people who knew more than I did and be able to pick their brains. I learned so much but the opportunity came about when I pitched my idea to faith division of Morgan James Publishing Company. They loved my idea and offered me a contract right then and there. Talk about making full use of your opportunities.

Disappointments have a way of opening up doorways to opportunities you never thought were possible. The world is filled with stories of people turning lemons into lemonade yet too often we complain about our disappointments without doing something about it. We lose ourselves in bitterness and let the real opportunities slip through our fingers.

Disappointments come and go, especially when you are going through major problems, but you need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and deal with them before you are overcome with anger and grief.

How To Overcome Disappointments In Life

facing disappointment

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.

The first step in the process of overcoming disappointments in life is to learn what you (or others) did that made you so disappointed. By understanding the real source of your disappointments, you can evaluate not only the reason behind why they happened but learn how to prevent them from ever happening again.

This is your time to be honest with yourself as you assess the situation. Don’t try to cover up the truth. Learn to be objective with your problems so you can separate fact from fiction. You won’t be able to learn any lesson unless you are brutally honesty with yourself.

If the disappointment lies within the realm of others, you may not want to confront them out of fear of hurting their feelings. You need to squash this feeling right away. You don’t want them repeating the same mistakes and ultimately disappoint you every time. You be as tactful as you possibly can without hurting their feelings can. They need to realize they didn’t do what was expected you need to clarify the situation before it gets worse..

Once you have confronted all the reason for the disappointments, the next thing is to do is figure out what steps you need to take to avoid them in the future.

Here are 5 steps you must take…

1- Don’t take on more than you can handle – Most people want to accomplish everything yesterday! But that’s not going to happen. Disappointments come when we put too way much on our plate and expect to handle them without any problems. There will always stumbling blocks you’ve never thought of which will prevent you from getting things done. When you plan your time, try to anticipate these as much as you can.

2- Be flexible with your plans – Life seems to always throws curve balls at us, and without the proper flexibility, disappointment will happen on a regular basis. People tend to learn more when they are flexible. You must be willing to explore more options and step out you’re the box which you have wrapped around yourself. Sometimes, we can’t see the trees for the forest because we’ve become too closed-minded in our attitudes.

3- Learn from other’s disappointments – The more disappointments happen in a short period of time, the more overwhelmed you can get. One idea is to search out others in your circle of influence and pick their brains. Ask them what they have learned from their own experiences and if they found opportunities because of them. The calming voice of someone who has overcome their own bitter disappointments in life can be very inspirational. A great example of this happened to me when my parents divorced. I had no frame of reference of what I was about to experience so I decided to talk to friends whose parents had already divorced  and pick their brains. Even though the future seemed scary, at least I had some information to go on and someone who could understand my plight. People like this can make you feel comfortable because they won’t judge you for your situation.

4- Accept each new day as a fresh opportunity to enjoy life – It’s hard enough trying to get through each day when things are not going your way but that’s life. Each day offers a new chance for better opportunities to come your way. You must believe that. The Law of Attraction states that “We attract attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on.” So, if you focus on the negative, chances are disappointments will come. Focus on the positive side of life and a whole new world of opportunity opens up if you are willing to take the plunge. The more you carry your setbacks with you the more they will weigh you down.

5- Transform Your Perspective – Each person has a different point of view when it comes to life. We all see things a little bit differently so shift your perspective on the situation at hand and what your expectations were regarding the situation. You’ll find a bit more clarity in judgment as well as being more objective in the future.

Trusting God Through Life’s Biggest Disappointments

“The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way.”
Robert Kiyosaki

The most important thing, we as humans can do, is trust God no matter what the circumstances are. When life’s disappointment come, and they will when we can least afford them, we need someone we can lean on when they get to be too much for us to handle.

So what do you do when your life seems to fail you and you are left to pick up the pieces all alone?

Give up your disappointments to God. Let Him shoulder the burden and lean on Him for strength and guidance. It’s so easy for us to blame God when things go wrong but it’s in the darkest moments that He is carrying us when we most need it.

Bad things happen to good people. It’s all part of life but that doesn’t mean we run out on Him.

He speaks of trusting Him in Joshua 1:9“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

He speaks to us with empathy in Hebrews 4:16“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin

He tells us we’d never be alone in Psalms 139: 2,3,5,7,8 –  “You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar…You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways…You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me…Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.”

It is at this very time when we must give thanks in the midst of disappointment. God tells us 1 Thessalonians 5:18. “In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”  

According to Kay Arthur, “When we walk in obedience to this command and, no matter the situation, we give thanks in everything, and then we are walking in obedience of faith.”

It’s all about faith. Faith in God, faith in ourselves, and faith in His resurrection. If we allow our spirits to be troubled, we allow disappointments to creep in and then we make the choice to walk in the flesh rather than walk with the Holy Spirit.

It’s tough. No one can deny that but if we are able to hand over the reins of our lives to God then we allow Him to guide us along the pathway of obedience. He never said it would be easy but take heart in 1 Peter 5:10 – “And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”

Disappointments happen for a reason. We don’t know why but we have to deal with them as they come. This is how we learn and get strengthened.

Here is how the psychology of disappointment works.

The Psychology of Disappointment

From Visually.

How To Take Advantage Of Opportunities While They Are Available To You

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
Thomas Edison

According to blogger Terrence Brown, “Real opportunities are the ones that we don’t immediately see. They come by at the most unexpected, mostly inopportune, times. We are so obsessed with other distractions or our own opinions that we normally miss the majority of opportunity that falls across our path.”

To take advantage of opportunities you need to be an opportunist. That means, taking advantage of the opportunities when they come. If you put them off till another time, they most certainly will pass you by.

Barbara Seifert, Ph. D., CPC states “If you have a desire and the opportunity to achieve it, why is that you don’t take advantage of them? Why do these desires that seem hard to get become ignored?  You may justify that it’s not the ‘right time’ or you don’t have ‘the money.  There may be a ‘little voice” that says ‘you might not get the desired results anyway’ or that ‘you aren’t deserving’ of what you truly want.   So you might put it off, procrastinate on or stop working to attain the thing you truly want inside.”

We often wallow in disappointment to the extent we shut out opportunities that come with setbacks. Awareness is the key to overcoming those roadblocks and seeing opportunities for what they are… challenges that lead us to bigger and better places in our lives.

To take that idea a step further, Adam Sicinski writes, “Life’s opportunities are often disguised as problems that require hard work and major emotional discomfort. And it is for this very reason why most people fail to recognize opportunities.”

Can you see the opportunities in your own disappointments?

Are you looking for those opportunities or have you allowed your disappoints to crowd your mind and close your heart?

Remember, hope is what opportunity thrives on. Always remain hopeful of what comes next. Look ahead not behind you. I know what bitter disappointment feels like. Having lost the first girl I ever loved at eighteen years old at the same time my parents got divorced and my best friend left for the Air Force were blows I had a hard time recovering from but the closer I remained to God, the easier it was to overcome disappointment and take advantage of the opportunities God was opening up for me.

Life is tough but you are tougher. Go out and make the most of your life. Leave your regrets behind and walk in faith with Jesus. He will never let you down.

Finding True Happiness In Life Part 1

finding true happiness

How To Find True Happiness

“Even if life gave you at one time everything you wanted – wealth, power, friends — after awhile you would again become dissatisfied and need something more.  But there is one thing that can never become stale to you – joy itself.”
Paramhansa Yogananda

Finding true happiness… it’s everyone’s goal in life but far too many people end up looking for it in all the wrong places. They think money, power, and possessions can replace the joy that God has given us but they always end up at the same place… broke, dejected, and sometimes alone.

Happiness is not something you can buy. It is a way of thinking, living and being. It is being able to to live with both the good times and bad times and still being able to smile at the world. Taking it to the next level… that’s what joy is all about

It has taken me years to understand the concept of what happiness is all about. I came from a miserable childhood which didn’t offer much hope or joy but as I have come to know Jesus Christ and accept Him as my savior, a new spirit has come over me. I see happiness as a gift from God and I want to share it with the world.

Below is a beautiful video on finding and creating happiness which is what all of us truly need and to help you understand and enjoy what true happiness is all about. Open your heart to the will of God and see what life has to offer. Happiness comes from unconditional love. Give love and happiness will find you… I guarantee it!

Manipulate your happiness

From Visually.

Finding And Creating Real Happiness 

“Happiness is a direction, not a place.”
Sydney J. Harris

In this video by Jay Phelan, PhD., we learn how to put structure into our lives so happiness flows through us instead of trying to find that elusive happiness that always seems to be out of our grasp. It is through these concepts that we can reimagine what happiness is and live according to God’s plan.

What principals of happiness do we need to learn to make happiness work in our own lives? Here is are 20 principals from Jay on finding your own brand of true happiness in life:

1- The amount of money you have does not equate the amount of happiness you feel. The old saying, “Money can’t buy you happiness” has been proven time and time again yet too many people search for happiness in the almighty dollar.

2- In the United States, the GDP (Gross National Product) more than doubled between 1972 and 2002 and yet, they found that even though people had increased their salaries significantly, they did not feel any happier. The main reason has to do with people are still searching for happiness in all the wrong places. They still think they can find it in possessions.

3- The happiness factor has not really kept up with our rising wealth. In fact, it seems the more we earn, the less happy we tend to be. We spend too much time chasing wealth instead of spending our time giving to others. Giving has been found to bring more happiness than anything we can buy.

4- The same ideas hold true for Japan. You’d think with their rising wealth they too would be a much happier people but when you look at their own rise in salaries you find different customs and different ways to do things still haven’t increased their overall happiness between the years 1958 and 2002. Once you hit a certain ceiling in salary it seems that happiness stagnates out.

Why Is It So Hard To Increase Happiness

“There is some kind of a sweet innocence in being human—in not having to be just happy or just sad—in the nature of being able to be both broken and whole, at the same time.”
C. JoyBell C.

5- Why does this happen to us? It all comes down to our genes. It is adaptation through evolution. We have adapted our emotions through the years based on what is happening around us.

6- Jay explains it this way… emotions alter the way we behave in ways that are beneficial to our genes. By taking these four powerful emotions we see what happens when we adapt them to our genes.

  1. Anger
  2. Guilt
  3. Desire
  4. Jealousy

7- We tend to think our emotions lead us towards the pathway to happiness but our genes have an agenda all their own and our emotions just come for the ride and express what we’re feeling..

8- Studies have shown that people who win the lottery hit the highest point right after winning but after one year, they go back to the same happiness levels they were at before winning the money. It’s not the money but what we are feeling inside. That takes us where we want to go in life. It’s the pursuit of happiness that brings us there not the money, possessions or power thrusted upon us it’s not the end result of that pursuit but how we get there.

9- Another example of this happens when a person has a catastrophic accident. At first, they are at their lowest point but research has found that some people return to their pre-accident happiness levels after just one year. Time heals all wounds helps people accept life to the point that they trust what they’re feeling is true and authentic again.

10- Our genes are always looking for constant progress. They want us to be improving and learning. If we don’t improve we become stagnant. It’s more about moving towards your life’s goals instead of the final accomplishment. The actual working on improving ourselves brings the big reward not the end goal.

11- Worrying spoils the improvements we make and turns off the happiness genes. Stop worrying about your current situation. Instead, try to make the current situation better as you go along. Give it time to build and follow through to it’s logical conclusion. Too often, we try to force happiness to happen but when we choose to let happen flow it makes it much easier to be joyful.

12- Jay says we are to take our goals less seriously. It may seem logical but the goal incentivizes the tools we have to work with. When we have reached our intended goals, we start searching for a new goal to achieve. Once again, we’re back looking for the pathway to more more happiness.

13- Life puts us in precarious positions but that’s what so great about finding happiness. It forces us to look deep inside for what’s real and shows us what true happiness means to us.

Working Towards The Ultimate Joy Of Life

“The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.”
Doug Larson

joy and contentment

14- People complain and say that if you are working towards a new goal you think things are terrible right now and you’ll be happy when you get there but in reality, it doesn’t quite work that way.

15– You need to take chances in life. It’s not about just the goals or just about achieving them because one of the consequences of having emotions is, they are short-lived. Once their done it’s on to the next set of experiences. We think the worst but they don’t last nearly as long as we perceive them to be.

16- Try and do the things that make you happy but go beyond your current expectations because your worse-case scenario is usually wrong and things work out okay. You sabotage your chances at feeling happy because you’ve put a limit on finding happiness. It’s like a wall that you separate between you and your eventual happiness.

17- You must understand what makes you happy and pursue that. The funny thing is, we know how to make others happy but we sabotage our own happiness.

18- Unexpected happiness is good for everyone involved. It keeps the flow of happiness going as one thing closes and a new thing opens. You give happiness and someone receives it.

19- We need to structure our lives in such a way that we are always making progress. That’s where the true happiness lies. Not in some far off belief that if we attain our goal we will receive a ribbon of happiness and we don’t have to do anything else anymore.

20- Happiness is in the doing… not the final result. Don’t put all your energies in the goal itself but improving who you are and what you are experiencing for those experiences bring their own brand of happiness both now and later on as we look back fondly over the events of our life.

I hope you understand the meaning that has been presented to you here and may you always find your happiness in living and not dreaming your life away.

How To Unleash Your Full Potential To The World

full potential

Unleash Your Full Potential On The World

“You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you.” 

Eckhart Tolle

The worst thing any human can do is live beneath themselves. What do I mean by that? Author Marianne Williamson said playing small does not serve the world nor does it do anything to enhance your life. There are far too many people living small and allowing the world to dictate what they do with their lives. If you want to unleash your potential on the world you can’t sit on the sidelines and wish and hope it could happen. You must get in the game and work at it. Stop giving up so easily.

What are you doing right now to unleash your full potential on the world? Think about it. Do you look in the mirror and wish the real you could shine through beyond all the self-doubt and pessimism?

God put you on this earth to make a statement and it’s up to you to follow through on the values, dreams and goals that are burning in your heart. You don’t have to live behind your fears and doubt anymore.

Does it scare you that you can make a difference in the world today? Does it scare you that there’s so much more that you could be doing with your life than what you engaged in now?

Each one of us has been given talents and gifts that can be developed but are you expanding your innate sense of purpose and direction? To get from Point A to Point B in your life, there must be a plan. You can’t reach your potential haphazardly. Every person can maximize his potential for greatness by understanding what limitations they have whether it be physical, financial or environmental and using their greatest asset… their mind.

1 Corinthians 12:4-6 states, “There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.”

Pastor Rick Warren says that “Potential is your unused strengths. Your hidden talents. Your untapped abilities. Your dormant talents. Your capped capabilities.”

That’s a good start but I believe it goes much deeper. I believe potential is the power that has been given to you by God that you must tap into and strengthen so that you can carry out your great calling to the world.

reaching your full potential

Imagine if ll the great painters, musicians, explorers and scientists had not reached their full potential? What would life be like? Would we be enjoying the life we lead today? What would life be like without computers, cell phones, cars, planes, or even electricity?

In his article, “Personal Development and Human Potential”,  Z. Hereford states, “Personal development is not measured by financial, social or external success. Instead it is determined by our efforts to develop our intellectual, physical and spiritual aspects in order to reach our full human potential. In the process of developing ourselves, we also strive to express our talents and abilities for the enrichment and benefit others.”

This is an important fact most people forget. In order to reach your full potential, it takes more than just want or desire. You need to combine and develop your physical, mental and spiritual powers to bring our talents to the masses. Only then can we bring the true nature of God within us to the whole world.

There is a power deep within all of us that is just itching to come out. It wants to tell the world… “Look what I can do! I have my own unique abilities and gifts and I want to share them with the whole world!”

This is what unleashing your true potential is all about. It means stepping out of your little world and offering yourself to a bigger stage. It means sharing the real you with the world. It means giving everything you have whether you succeed or fail!

What’s Holding You Back From Unleashing Your Full Potential?

“Deep within man dwells those slumbering powers; powers that would astonish him, that he never dreamed of possessing; forces that would revolutionize his life if aroused and put into action.”  

Orison Marden

Opportunities abound for those who decide to break free of the chains holding them back in the 21st century . For every human to make the most of their potential they must not only conquer their fears but gain momentum and allow God to work in us with amazing results. What a loss it would be to keep all that beauty, all that power locked up inside of you. The power to change lives…the power to give love… the power to be heard!

Every day we have the capability to do amazing things yet we fall short of what we should be doing. Can you see yourself making a difference in one person’s life? Why aren’t you doing it?

Afraid you’ll fail? Afraid you might screw their lives up even more? Afraid you might actually do some good for once?

I’m amazed at all the excuses people make to not get involved in the world at large. Unleashing greatness is not a curse… it’s a blessing!

According to M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.,“Unleashing your true potential can be done by knowing the exact limits of your potential. Most of the people who don’t reach their true potential fail to do it because they underestimate their abilities and this usually results in accepting mediocre results.”

How to Live Your Highest Potential

From Visually.

Have you tried to reach the limits of both your physical and mental capacities? If not, what’s holding you back.

Are you scared of what it will take?

Are you scared how difficult it may be?

Are you frightened of actually making something of yourself?

These questions are normal for anyone but you have to go beyond your limits to test just how far you can go. You don;t have to be an athlete or someone well known to be all you can be. It just takes nerve and the will to try.

Reaching your limits is not about winning or losing but making the attempt. How far do you want to go?

 

The idea that your quality of life depends on how you reach your potential is a truth most of us don’t quite understand. The more we unleash that power within us, the better our life will be.

Tell me… what is holding you back from achieving everything you set out to achieve when you were just a child? Are your dreams just that, dreams? Have you bit the bullet and decided to totally give up on them?  I hope not! You will be denying the world the vastness of your genius, You will be denying the world the gifts God has given to you and you alone.

I see far too many people who put limitations on themselves and suffer greatly for it. The more they say they can’t the more they won’t!

What do you want to be remembered for?

4 Steps To Maximizing Your Potential

“The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential… these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.”

Confucius

full potential

Are you good enough? That’s a question many of us wrestle with day after day after day. We struggle to feel adequate in a world that forces us to compare ourselves with our neighbors whether we want to or not. The pain comes when we feel we don’t quite measure up and that can take the wind out of our sails very quickly. Just when we think we’re making headway something comes along to bring us right back down.

I used to think I could never measure up to all the great writers even though I dreamed about becoming a famous author. It was so hard to build a following and when each new book I released didn’t sell liked I hoped they would, I felt like giving up. What changed everything for me was learning to believe in myself when others didn’t. To keep plugging away and fulfill my destiny as an author. In July of 2016, I scored my first #1 book on Amazon.com. with the release of Summoned To Love and all the hard work, all the naysayers and all the feelings of inadequacy melted away. What I didn’t realize at the time I was building a snowball that was getting bigger and bigger with each new release and suddenly it took off and conquered everything in it’s path.

I finally realized what unleashing my inner potential mean to to the world. Many of the readers told me the book changed their lives. That was my moment, my epiphany, the day my life changed forever.

You may not be an aspiring author but what is it that burns inside your heart? What is it that makes you, you?

Here are the 4 Steps to Maximize Your True Potential And Unleash The Real You To The World

  1. Don’t Underestimate Your Abilities – You are worth more than you can ever realize. Remember the gifts you were born with and use them for the betterment of mankind. According to M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.,“Unleashing your true potential can be done by knowing the exact limits of your potential. Most of the people who don’t reach their true potential fail to do it because they underestimate their abilities and this usually results in accepting mediocre results.” Are you tired of accepting mediocrity? Then value what you have to offer.
  2. Know Your True Purpose – Shana Schutte says this about purpose. “The gifts God gives us are like little seeds planted inside us, but for them to grow we have to use them.” To fulfill this, Parker Palmer states, “Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I need to listen to my life to tell me who I am.” It is those things that give you your greatest happiness aligned with your  strengths and passions in life that will let you know. Then it’s up to you cultivate those seeds.
  3. Cultivate Your Potential – As any farmer will tell you, the harvest is only as good as the work you put into cultivating and fertilizing the field. So it is with your potential. Dreams are one thing but you must do the necessary work to make your potential come to life.
  4. Share Your Potential – After the harvest, comes the sharing. What good is potential if others cannot share in your achievements? Author Dwayne Savaya states, “True potential in life is not what is accomplished, but who benefits from it. Your deposit was given to enrich and inspire the lives of others.” Is benefiting others part of your plan? Are you ready to inspire the world?
Reaching Your Full Potential

“Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!”

Anne Frank

To reach your full potential, you must know the source from whence it came. That would be God. When you realize the source, you can establish a relationship with God. It is through faith and by love that this relationship guides our potential.

Your potential is like a seed that must be nourished. To try and unleash it before it is ready will only bring forth a weak and ineffective action that is as bad as not doing anything at all.

Will Edwards, the founder of White Dove Books tells us, “A life without purpose is a life without richness, depth and reason. However you need to direct the purpose to ensure your dreams are realized. There is little point in investing the time and effort into discovering what you want to do, see or experience if you then do nothing with it.”

Reaching your full potential means first learning to value who you are and what you can offer. It moves on to becoming a person who loves to face challenges and then overcoming them. This builds character, patience and humility. All important aspects of unleashing your full potential.

It’s not about selfishly getting what you want and being prideful. Potential is expressed through both hard work and love for others for you cannot expect to overcome obstacles all by yourself. The true nature of potential is to fight for your dreams. It is a game changer in life and one that most people are unwilling to play.

Z. Hereford goes on to say,“Its purpose was to promote the idea that humans can experience an exceptional quality of life filled with happiness, creativity and fulfillment when they strive to reach their potential.”

The famous theologian, Frederick Buechner, once said: ”Your calling is where your passions meet the world’s needs.” That is where your full potential, unleashed onto the world, can do the most good. 

I, for one, am striving for a better world. I offer my best to lift others up. That type of achievement makes for the kind of world all of us want to live and work in.

Successful Tips For Breaking A Bad Habit

bad habits

What Goes Into Breaking A Bad Habit

“The difference between an amateur and a professional is in their habits. An amateur has amateur habits. A professional has professional habits. We can never free ourselves from habit. But we can replace bad habits with good ones.”

Steven Pressfield

 

Are you stuck in a bad habit and want to break free? Do you feel like no matter what you do nothing can help you overcome your bad habits? Do you constantly catch yourself doing things you know you shouldn’t but are powerless to to make a positive change in your life?

Everyone has a bad habit or two and feel like they’re in control of what they do but science knows differently what is really happening in our brains. Our daily habits play an important role in what we do, where we go and how we interact with others.

You know the drill, the better your habits the more successful you will be and vice versa but that is only a small part of what your habits are all about.

One of the hardest obstacles in breaking a bad habit is being motivated enough to take the necessary steps to break them.

Here are the 3 best known ways to break a bad habit:

  • Going cold turkey altogether
  • Setting a date in the future to quit your bad habit
  • Replacing your bad habit with a better one

These methods may or may not work for you depending on your motivation and personality. The problem is, breaking a bad one and replacing it with a better habit takes more willpower than we have to give. We need others to help motivate us when we lose hope or the desire to go on. Without a motivating force, we end up procrastinating and put it off until a later date… and we all know that once you put something off, it’s almost impossible to start unless it’s life or death.

But here is a different and more profound way to break bad habits for good and start cultivating good ones that lead us to a more successful and joyful life.

Managing Your Bad Habits

“Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones.”

Benjamin Franklin

What is the process involved in managing your bad habits?

According to James Clear, author of “Transform Your Habits” states that most bad habits are caused by stress and boredom. These two factors play a huge role in our lives and are a way we cope with the realities of our daily existence.

How you deal with the stress and boredom goes a long way in how you ultimately manage your bad habits. Why do we react to stress and boredom by installing bad habits? Many of the issues we’re dealing with on the outside actually come from deep within our unconscious mind. Our daily habits are the pathway we walk along every day and we are leading ourselves down this path with our actions.

Want to change your pathway?

You must first realize the underlying causes of your bad habits before you can overcome them. Most people try to rely on their will power but fail miserably and give up too quickly. This is an exercise in futility. The idea is to replace a bad habit not totally eliminate it.

Your bad habits have some good benefits or you would not be where you are today but spending energy on things that don’t improve your life keeps you from becoming the person you were meant to be. Take that energy and put it to good use by replacing that bad habit with a habit that offers more benefits and addresses your needs in a positive manner. Cutting out your bad habits only reinforces certain needs and makes it harder to stick to a daily routine.

Here’s the 7 simple steps to breaking a bad habit

How to Break Bad Habits - In 7 Simple Steps

From Visually.

How To Break A Bad Habit

“Most people don’t have that willingness to break bad habits. They have a lot of excuses and they talk like victims.”

Carlos Santana

Breaking a bad habit may be the hardest thing you will ever try to do if you don’t plan out your change. Just saying you want to change and not executing the change is a worthless endeavor. Habits don’t change by themselves which is why you must start with these important lessons.

1- Choose a positive substitute for your bad habit – How you respond to the bad habit is all based on your choices. Since we know it’s too hard to eliminate a bad habit altogether, let’s substitute a positive habit for the bad habit and work on the positive habit.

2- Get rid of the triggersWhat triggers your bad habits? The only way to know is to be aware of when your bad habit happen and write them down as they occur. How often do they occur? Where were you when they occurred? Who was with you when they occurred? What were you doing when they occurred? When you can answer these questions honestly and openly, only then can you start breaking old habits and replace them with better habits.

3- Surround yourself with like-minded individuals – It only goes to reason that if you hang out with the wrong people you will pick up bad habits that influence you negatively. The more you spend your time with people who share your same likes and dislikes, the easier it is to to turn those bad habits into good ones. The right people also give you a positive support system which is so important when trying to kick a bad habit.

4- Visualize your success – a key element to any successful habit breaking is to visualize your success before you even start. The positive visualization reinforces the things you’ve already overcome and starts you on the right foot giving you a picture of what you want to accomplish in the end. Science has found that the mind cannot distinguish between the real and the imagined. This is why visualization works so well. You conceive, then believe, then achieve. All the while focusing on the steps that lead to success by visualizing them first.

5- Change your environment – This step is more important than you think and one that most people find the hardest to implement. Your environment plays a big role in who you are and how you function but it also influences you more than you know. Find the right environment that inspires you and motivates you which cuts out the distractions. A new environment allows you to break out of your comfort zone and give you a sense of freedom while an old environment’s familiar surroundings can lull you into a false sense of security.

How To Turn Bad Habits Into Good

know the rules

“People try to change too much at once and it becomes overwhelming, and they end up falling off the program. So gradually changing bad habits makes much more of a difference than trying to change them all at once.”

Ian K. Smith

Now that you have a good idea of what’s involved in breaking a bad habit, let’s move on to turning those bad habits in good ones and making long term plans for turning those new and positive habits into a successful new you.

Awareness of what you do on a daily basis separates the successful from the unsuccessful. Its the difference between being happy and finding lasting happiness.

You need to be conscious of what you do. Do not live in the unconscious world where we are ruled by our habits. This is called hyper-awareness and it means you consciously watch what you are doing and the obstacles you face.

How do we accomplish this type of hyper-awareness when it comes to breaking bad habits?

1- State what you will do and go out and do it – Good habits are built upon stating what you will do as oppose to what you won’t do. When you focus on what you won’t do, it is a negative multiplier that punishes us instead of rewarding us. That change of mindset is the difference between taking the first step and being distracted by temptation. When we can’t have something or are not allowed to do something, temptation grabs us by the throat and begs us to get involved. Stating what you will do gives the mind a clear and present pathway to walk down and the action phase starts on a positive foot.

2- Know your obstacles – Walking blindly into traffic is a recipe for death but when you know the obstacles in your path, you can easily avoid them and continue on your way. Too often, we don’t plan for obstacles coming our way and we don’t know how to deal with the when they occur. This is a big part of being aware. Be prepared by knowing the types of challenges that may or may not occur. This gives you confidence to believe success is within your grasp.

3- Create and identify your target goals – Goals are great but if you don’t target and identify what you actually want to accomplish, it will be like travelling without a map. You’ll always be guessing what the next  step is on your road to better habits.

The Secret To Transforming Your Bad Habits 

how to stop a bad habit

“Sometimes when you’ve had a long series of disappointing things happen, you can get into the very bad habit of just expecting more of what you’ve already had.”

Joyce Meyer

There are so many ways we fall into unhealthy behaviors. The struggle is what keeps us from achieving the best self we can be. We must learn how to transform your bad habits into something positive and life-affirming.

It’s not just the transformation we are looking for. That’s great but the process in getting there is worth it’s weight in gold. When you master the process, the transformation comes next and you’ve overcome the bad habit while putting the good habits in motion.

You are the sum of all your habits. No matter what you do today, it came from small decisions you’ve made over the course of your life but you can learn from those decisions and become a better person.

James Clear, talks about the 3 “R’s” of habit change in his book “Transform Your Habits”.

They are…

  1. Reminder (the trigger)
  2. Routine (the behaviour)
  3. Reward (the benefit)

The concept of the 3 “R’s” actually came from behavioral psychology research from noted Stanford scientist, BJ Fogg and New York Times bestselling author and journalist, Charles Duhigg’s book, “The Power Of Habit”. The interesting fact they make is your mind is coded by your past actions.

It starts with the ring (the reminder) which triggers the the routine (the behavior). When you answer the ring, you reward yourself with the benefit. The final result is the reward which is built up over time and every time you answer the call, your brain is rewarded.

This ends up being a never ending cycle of ringing, answering, and rewarding until it becomes an unconscious habit.

Here;s a great tool for helping you break old habits and start good ones.

HereFrom Visually.

Want to use the 3 “R’s” to start a new and positive habit?

Here’s the trick…

1- Set up visible reminders – These reminders act as triggers for the actions you want to complete. This way, you don’t have to be motivated or remember a set of rules. The visual reminder is your cue to take action at that moment in time.

2- Start small and work your way up – You can’t climb a mountain in one leap unless you’re superman. Instead, like life, it’s made up of small steps that propel us to the top. Even if there are roadblocks or failures along the way, it’s not how good or bad you are but whether you are building up a consistent action that gets results.

3- Celebrate your successes – Your victories, no matter how big or small are worth celebrating. It’s what life is all about. Everyone needs positive reinforcement from time to time so reward yourself. It’s a big part of the habit-forming process.

To break your bad habits for good, we go on to the next level of change.

1- Self identity – What do you feel inside about yourself? It’s not enough to want to change your bad habit but to change who we are to become what we have been born to be.

Sound hard? Not really. It’s a matter of two small steps. James Clear states we need to…

  • Decide the type of person we want to be
  • Prove it to ourselves with small wins

How can we make this a reality in our own life?

It starts with small steps and then working your way up to bigger and bolder things once you have the wisdom and confidence to go on. Stop worrying about the end result and work on achieving small victories in the here and now.

2- Make tiny changes to your daily routines – Find things in your daily routines that you can change for the better. These tiny changes should allow the brain to quickly learn and implement these changes without stopping to think whether they are good for us or not.

3- Set up schedules not deadlines – The problem with breaking bad habits is we focus too much on deadlines. “I need to change by his date” is an all too common mantra that needs to be discarded. Research has found that it takes 21 days to install a new habit. That doesn’t mean if you don’t make it by 21 days you’re a loser. Schedule out your actions so they take as long as needed, the idea is to be consistent in your actions and always going forward.

If you miss a deadline, then you set yourself up for failure and failure is not part of the process.  Consistency and positive action are what gets results. Clear and precise decisions give you boundaries to work with. You can’t makes excuses if they don’t fit into your plan.

By following this process that I’ve laid out for you, breaking a bad habit will not be a lesson in futility. Challenges are part of life and this is another challenge for you to overcome and build confidence as well and inner strength.