How To Improve Your Self Esteem With These 7 Powerful Secrets

improving self-esteem

Improving Your Self Esteem

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.” 
August Wilson

How many of us suffer in silence from low self-esteem and self worth problems?

I, for one, have suffered my whole life and have bravely fought to banish my inner demons. At this time, I can finally say, without any reservation, that I have conquered those demons. It wasn’t easy and it took every ounce of my being to to overcome those deep beliefs and now, I want to help you overcome your feelings of inadequacy and give you a firm foundation to stand on.

Here are some questions I want you to ask yourself right now about your own belief system.

  1. Are you happy with who and what you are today? Don’t reserve your love for when you reach your goal of losing weight, getting a better job or finding the right partner in life.
  2. Do you base your level of self worth on how others have treated you in the past? Remember, the past is gone. You don’t have to relive it anymore. What happened yesterday has no bearing on today unless you let it.
  3. Do you recognise the difference you make around you? How often do you look at the difference you make in other’s lives. As humans, we tend to worry about our own situations and how we feel but if you reverse the thought process and see how you affect others you’ll have a better understanding of your place in this world.
  4. How often do you complain about things in life? I used to be one of those people who never stopped complaining, I complained about my job, my bills, everything I lacked instead of being grateful for what I have. My advice is to stop complaining and start being grateful. Learn to appreciate what you have because it could all be taken away as quickly as you got it.
  5. Do you know who you really are? This is more than just a philosophical question. It gets to the root of your very being. Who we want to be is less important than who we really are. It all starts with being authentic. Stop hiding the real you because you want to impress others. The Greek philosopher Aristotle, who lived between 384–322 BC, once said:Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”

Wisdom is the key word here. The more you know about yourself the easier it is to root out the underlying causes of your self-esteem problems.

Before I unveil the 7 powerful secrets to having high self-esteem and self worth, let’s tackle the main problem I see that does more harm than good in getting people to feel better about themselves.

5 Self-Esteem Myths That Sabotage Your Self Worth

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”

Let’s start off by breaking down some harmful myths about self-esteem and self worth and why most people get them all wrong.

Myth #1 – You Need To Be Worthy Of It – Having healthy self-esteem has nothing to do with being worthy. No matter what you do in life, you are worthy enough to be loved. It’s not a prerequisite for obtaining self-esteem nor is it something you need to acquire. If you are not popular or well-liked, it doesn’t mean you are not worthy of that love and care. Many times, the other person/people are going through their own problems and are apt to take it out on you

In Jeremiah 29:1, we are told,For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

God tells us that he has plans for us and we should be hopeful in His love. Does that sound like a God that doesn’t think you are worthy of His love? Not al all. So please drop that from your thought process.

Myth #2 Self-esteem comes from being successful – This idea is taught by most people in the medical field and it is a downright lie. You are not measured by how successful you are and you don’t need to measure your own success. In fact, you don’t even need to be successful to have self worth.

God created every one of us to be something special. In 1 Samuel 16:7, God shows us what is really important to Him. “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

It’s important to note that God’s love doesn’t depend on how rich we are, how good looking we are, nor how important we are. He looks far beyond those petty things and it’s something you need to as well!

Myth #3 – Self-esteem and confidence aren’t the same thing – This one idea bugs me more than any other myth in that we are told that the more confident we are the better our self -esteem will be. Just because you are confident does not mean you have high self worth. What happens when your confidence is shaken? Does that mean your self-esteem slips as well? Stop linking the two together. Instead, understand the concept that confidence comes from your belief in your own talents skills, and abilities and how ell you do them. Self-esteem is rootes in how we feel about ourselves at the inner core of our being.

Krizia Loquido, the health & lifestyle editor at Verily states in her article, 5 Myths About Low Self-Esteem You Need to Forget, “Some of the most powerful people in the world are totally confident in their career capabilities, while other areas of their life are riddled with anxiety and unhealthy relationships that stem from low self-esteem.”

I’m not saying you shouldn’t focus on being confident in your own abilities but don’t equate them with how your feel about yourself.

Myth #4 – Obtaining things will elevate your self-esteem – Getting what you want is never a cure for self-esteem issues. Ever felt buyer remorse? That gut feeling you made a big mistake in your purchase. Too often, people acquire things as a way to compensate for what they lack in self love but things cannot make us feel better about ourselves.

A great example of this happens on Christmas morning. Watch kids open their presents and you will see them go crazy with happiness for what they received but check back in a week or so and they’ve abandoned most of the toys and gifts. Why? It’s that high we get at the start but the high never lasts.

Myth #5 – Self-esteem is based solely on what we do and how we behave – If this was the case, then everything we do, say and feel is based on our behavior. When our behavior takes a nosedive then so should our self-esteem. Our lives would be one crazy rollercoaster ride if this was true but it isn’t.

Dr. Christina Hibbert writes, “If our worth is based on our performance or behavior, then we are bound to feel poorly about ourselves when our performance or behavior drops; and it will drop—it’s human nature. We are more than what we do and how we behave.”

Now that we have the myths out of the way, we can focus on the 7 powerful secrets I have learned from years of study, from making a million mistakes myself, and from watching others.

The 7 Powerful Secrets To Improving Your Self Worth

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”
– Lucille Ball

Do you want to improve your self image and feel better about yourself? Of course you do but you’ve probably read a million books on the subject, listened to a ton of so-called “Self-help gurus” who had more charisma than knowledge and still your self worth is in the toilet.

Well, I’m going to give you the truth about improving your self-esteem from all my years fighting to feel good about myself.

Here they are:

Secret #1 – You Are Loved – Admit it. Do you really feel loved? If you knew how much the world loved you you would never feel bad about yourself again. But the problem is, do we really believe it? That was my problem for a good many years. I thought no one cared about me, no one appreciated me, nor understood the real me.

It was all an illusion my ego put over me like a blanket. Until I felt that love, I couldn’t believe it. Then God showed me a love so powerful it shook me to the core. It changed everything inside me. It finally made me whole. I wasted so many years feeling sorry for myself, wasted so much time thinking about things that didn’t matter, and wrestled with so many fears that it paralyzed my ability to function as a normal human being.

Once you open up your heart to love, all those fears and self debilitating thoughts will disappear and the real feelings of self love will shine through! I’m a living, breathing example of this!

Secret #2 – Love First Ask Questions Later – The title comes from a Ringo Starr song of the same name off his 2003 Ringo Rama album and it perfectly encapsulates what life is about. Why are you so worried about everything under the sun? Just give love. It doesn’t matter how much you give but that you give it in the first place.

We are all part of a beautiful world that God has given us. Why fight about things that have no meaning? We’re so worried about what others have, what others are doing and how much they make that we can never live up to the comparisons we make it our minds.

Love is the most important thing we have. Not just for others but for ourselves. If you spend more time thinking about acquiring things and not loving the real you inside you’ll never improve your self worth and you’ll always be unhappy.

Ephesians 5:29 tells us, “For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church.” Be the example of love you can be and allow that love to fill your heart. That’s all that is required of you.

Secret #3 – You are not your daily circumstances – Since when do circumstances define who you are? If you let them then you will always feel ashamed of yourself, blame others for your failures, and be locked in a life and death struggle for control of the real you.

Author Beverly D. Flaxington makes the point that “Life is more random than we’d like to think. It’s important to develop an air of objectivity, and to learn to step back from what happens and observe it as an outsider.”

That’s a key point I don’t think many people pick up on. You have to stand back once in awhile and see things from a different point of view. Don’t look at yourself from your own eyes but from those of an outsider. No judgments, no negative comments, just an air of total honesty.

Be honest with yourself without resorting to comparisons. The truth may hurt but it gives you a place to start and that’s all you can ask.

Secret #4 – Focus on what you can change in your life – How much time and effort have you wasted worrying about things you can’t change? You’ve allowed these things to break your will and crush your soul. You have to understand you can’t change the past, you can’t change others… you can only change yourself.

Once you understand this you can put all that wasted energy into something positive for yourself. You will have less stress, you will feel better about yourself, and you will unclog your mind of all the garbage that worrying has imprisoned you with.

Focus on the positive things in your life and what you have power over. Don’t let others hold power over you. You’ll end up like a puppet. Cut the strings and empower yourself. Be the person you want to be not what others want you to be.

As soon as you release the chains everything changes. If you like being chained to misery be my guest but I’m guessing you want to be set free. Take my advice… put your focus on what really matter in your life… YOU!

Secret #5 – Unlearn what you have learned about yourself – If you have ever watched the Star Wars movies, you know how poignant Yoda can be. One of his greatest lines from the movies was this, “You must unlearn what you have learned.”

Why is this line to important to your self-esteem? People with low self-esteem tend to believe every negative thing about themselves. They see things about themselves others don’t see while at the same time, making up things that become real to them.

What you need to to do is go back into your past and start unlearning those different behaviors, thoughts, and actions that keep you bound in chains. All those things you think others see or say about you are not important. The things you feel and experience are important but they are in the past. Today is a new day.

Wipe the slate clean and begin by honoring the good things about you. Open your heart the beauty that is all around you. Don’t cling to what is negative or distressing. Instead, appreciate what has happened to you and see that it is a part of you, not all of you. Your past doesn’t define you.

Learn how to treat yourself with respect and dignity. Look at the real you in the mirror and marvel at the beauty God has made. All these things were probably last on your list before but now it’s time to see yourself in a new light.A new door has opened up for you.

2 Peter 1:5-11 tells us why we are a new person in Christ.

“For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities[b] are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to confirm your calling and election, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall. For in this way there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

You have no reason to have low self-esteem anymore. God has made you a new person in Christ. That is your miracle. Now go out and be all God has envision for you!

Secret #6 – Eliminate self-criticism and introduce yourself to positive self-compassion – Everyone has an inner voice. Problems arise when the inner voice decides it wants to run your life. Most of the time, your inner self talk is makes you believe you’re not good enough and throws reason after reason why you should believe it.

Self-criticism is akin to beating yourself over the head with a hammer. It never does any good and it hurts like hell! I live by this one rule: Treat others as you would have them treat you. So why in the world would I mistreat myself if I’m treating others as I would like to be treated?

It doesn’t make sense yet we allow ourselves to be beaten up by our own egos and left to rot on the side of the road. No one is as hard on ourselves as ourselves. Read that again. It’s so true as we are our own worst enemy. We blame others for our own problems yet we beat ourselves silly criticizing every move we make.

Take it easy on yourself and give yourself a break. You’re not as bad as you make yourself out to be. In fact, I know you’re a pretty good person inside. You just don’t believe it.

What needs to be done?

Start being more compassionate with yourself. If things happen and you get hurt, get back up and use the power inside of you to succeed. You have everything you need to live in this big world. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop blaming yourself for everything that happens, and stop trying to get others to feel sorry for you.

I hate to say it but suck it up! It’s never as bad as you make it so be more compassionate towards yourself and start loving yourself more. I know, easier said than done but you have to grow up and work on feeling good about yourself.

If you can’t then you deserve all the misery you pile on to yourself.

Secret #7 – Face your fears head on – Nothing works better at boosting your self-esteem than getting into a fight (no, I don’t mean a physical fight). What I’m talking about is forcing your ego to come out and deal with it’s fears. You’ve got to make a stand, one way or another. Your self worth is going to stay in the toilet unless you fight for it. And yes, sometimes it may feel like a life and death struggle but you gotta do what you gotta do!

Inner turmoil is normal for most people but unless they get pissed off enough, they’re always going to stack stuck behind their own prison bars.

Most professional will tell you to stroke your ego and do things that make you feel good but not me. This is a war and war calls for drastic measures. Unless your willing to fight nothing is ever going to change!

Below is an infographic with some great tips in dealing with low self-esteem. Try your best to incorporate them into your daily routines.

10 Tips to Deal with Low Self Esteem

From Visually.

In conclusion, sometimes it sucks being you but most of the time it doesn’t. I’ve been where you are right now and I’ve suffered a great deal including depression and low self-esteem but there’s always hope.

It doesn’t come from others. It has to come from deep within you. You have to open up your heart and let love in. Love yourself first and foremost because no one else will if you push them away.

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How Far Could You Go In Life If You Had No Limits?

no limits in life

The No Limits Way Of Thinking

“You will find that there are no limits to what you can accomplish except for the limits you place on your own imagination. And since there are no limits to what you can imagine, there are no limits to what you can achieve.”
Brian Tracy

How far could you go in life if there were no limits put on you by the rest of society, by your family, by your friends and especially by your own mind?

We live in a world that puts limits on everything we do. You hear it all the time from people when you tell them what you want to do with your life.

Here’s a few examples I’ve heard from my own past experiences.

  • Why do you want to do that for?
  • You’ll never make any money doing that!
  • How can you do that if you’ve never finished college
  • Music will never pay the bills. Why don’t you get a real job.
  • Stop playing around and get serious with your life.
  • You, a writer? You must be joking!

And my all-time favorite which reverberates throughout my soul…

  • You’re not good enough to compete with all the great writers. You’ll just be wasting your time.

There is nothing you can do or say that can stop you from doing something magnificent with your life unless you decide you can’t do it.

Henry Ford, the iconic founder of the Ford Motor Company and the person responsible for developing the assembly line technique of mass production knew no limits in his own life. What he couldn’t do by himself, he found others to make his dreams come true. The one quote that still echoes through my heart and spurs me on everyday is this.

“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.” Henry Ford

Your mind plays the biggest role in how far you get in life. It takes you where you want to go but it can also limit you and keep you from ever achieving the greatness you deserve.

Are you living your life by someone else’s rules? You may think you aren’t but society demands we play by its rules or we have no chance at happiness. It favors those who become part of the collective but life isn’t like that.

You need to look at what makes you happy. You need to listen to what your heart is telling you not your parents, guidance counselors, friends or family. They don’t walk in your shoes nor do they have to deal with what you are dealing with.

Find Out Here

You can soar like the birds or you can fall flat on your ass. The choice is yours. I don’t need to tell you what you are capable of doing. You know deep down in your heart what you want to do… the problem is doing it!

I believe you have to live your passion. That burning desire in your heart must resonate or it will do you no good.  Use your god-given talents and skills and share them with the world.

Be bold! Be confident in your abilities because no one else will do it for you.

But, what if I can’t?

What if there are too many obstacles?

Keep reading… and I’ll show you what you can do!

Overcoming Obstacles That Limit Us

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.”
George Bernard Shaw

What is holding you back from achieving greatness?

Do you blame others for your failures or do you own your life?

As a life coach, I see too many people get defensive about what has happened in their lives. They tend to blame others for their circumstances and use it as an excuse for failure.

Want an example of someone who lived his life with no limits?

How about the late, great Bruce Lee?

Bruce was one of my all-time greatest heroes. He pushed himself beyond what most people could take. Why was he able to accomplish so much in such a short period of time?

Did you know he was laid up for many months because he injured his back to such a degree that he could hardly walk? The injury led him to delve much deeper into the both the spiritual and mental belief aspect of martial arts.

Part of his philosophy regarding his Jeet Kune Do was that of using guided thoughts. He believed that in order to fully express oneself, one must” “have no limitations.” It’s a philosophy that is foreign to many as most people put limitations on themselves.

Bruce went beyond that type of thinking. Hie describe his philosophy as a mirror in which to “see ourselves.” He believed we needed to cast off what is useless. Whatever was unessential needed to be removed so that what remained could be used to better one’s self.

When you look upon life as having no limits you lose the rigidity that society dictates. It allows you to be fluid and able to adapt to any situation that comes your way. Bruce believed strength comes not just from the physical side but how you control the mental aspect of your being.

Here are three quotes from Bruce that show why limiting yourself is for the weak.

“If you always put a limit on everything you do, physical or anything else it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.”

Have you reached a plateau in your life? What are you doing to go beyond your own limits?

“A goal is not always meant to be reached. It often serves simply as something to aim at.”

Any goal you have should be used as inspiration and motivation to be the best you can be. It is not about the accomplishment but how you get there that is the most important part.

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”

This is what most people don’t quite understand about expectations. We tend to base our expectations on what others expect of us instead of working at accomplishing and exceeding our own expectations.

If you had no limits as to what you could accomplish do you think you would push yourself to get there?

Most of the obstacles we face are not physical barriers but mental ones. We put up walls around us and then make excuses why we can’t climb or them. Or, we plan how we can climb over but never take action to actually make the climb because we’re too scared to fail!

Think what superhuman skill you have that could help you achieve anything your mind could imagine.

Here’s an infographic of some of the greatest superhuman skills known to man. Do they inspire you to reach for the no limits mindset?

Superhuman Abilities

From Visually.

Putting The No Limits Mindset Into Action

“The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible.”
Arthur C. Clarke


Do you believe achieving your dreams are possible or impossible?

If you believe they are impossible then why have dreams in the first place?

But if you believe anything is possible then let’s find a way for you to achieve those dreams.

Everything starts in the mind. Where your thoughts take you is totally up to you. The proper mindset is all you need to live a life without any limits but you need some rocket fuel to make those thoughts blast off into the farthest regions of space.

So, how do you get there?

Here are the seven ways to putting the no limits mindset into action:

1- Seize The Opportunities Afforded You – Opportunities don’t come around vert often and when they do, they are like a door with a timer on them. If you don’t take advantage now, it will close before you have the chance to make things happen.

2- Learn How To Try New Things, New Ideas, And New Ways – Think you know it all? Think again. What keeps our mind and thoughts fresh is a different perspective on life and the things around us. Your mind will stay stagnant if you don’t make it work. Try new things… you never know if you will like something unless you give it a shot. Listen to new ideas. Maybe you will get that aha moment that will change your life. Seek out new ways to do things. Sometimes, the tried and true ways need an update. Be the one who puts a new wrinkle in old thought.

3- Remove Your Limiting Beliefs One By One – What separates you from the most successful people on the planet? Your limiting beliefs, that’s what! Every limiting belief you have is like a brick that gets put up on top of all your other limiting beliefs and so, over the years, you have built a mighty wall that is stopping you in your tracks. Now, instead of knocking the whole wall down, let’s start by breaking single bricks until you have broken all the bricks and there is nothing stopping you. Why is this method easier and better to implement? Those limiting beliefs are like old habits. You can’t break every one but you can do it one at a time. Every time you break a brick, you build more confidence and your mind gets stronger.

4- Throw Out Your Mental Garbage – Every Thursday night, I have to take out the weeks trash and put it out to the curd for the garbageman to take. Your limiting beliefs are the same. Take the time to throw them out and replace them with positive and uplifting thoughts. Even if your life sucks right now and you feel like you have nowhere to go, just the idea that you can flush those dirty thoughts away can bring hope and inspiration to your life. This kind of habit takes work but just like emptying all the trash in your home, make this habit one you do everyday.

5- Stop Accepting The Status Quo – Just because everyone does things as they have always done doesn’t mean you have to follow suit. Sonia Thompson, a contributing writer to LIFE – the blog says, “Stand up against “the way things are” and show others that “the way things could be” is truly possible. You don’t have to accept the norm. Instead, find out what works for you and go with it. That’s where your possibilities are hidden.

6- Live Life Outside The Lines – It’s not about just being different. It means stepping outside your comfort zone and tackling those things that scare you shitless! It’s about moving into uncharted territory and going against the norm. You become the explorer in life… you chart a new pathway… and you discover new places for yourself. In order to accomplish this, you must overcome any and all resistance that comes your way, including your own fears and thoughts. Explore the vast options around you and you will see that self discovery is an unending process.

7- Trust Your Own Instincts – Your gut feeling is usually right but most of us second guess ourselves. In fact, we do it so often that we tend not to trust our own judgment and that’s where we allow negativity to seep into our thoughts. Your instincts are an important tool so use it wisely. According to Susanna Newsonen MAPP, “Your intuition is shaped by your past experiences, and your existing knowledge which you gained from them.” That is why experience is your best teacher. She goes on to say, “Your intuition is encoded in your brain like “a web of fact and feeling.” That code will help you make the proper decision because it’s part of you. So start listening to it.

God has given us every talent, trait, and wisdom to be the best version of ourselves possible but it’s up to you to make it happen. Being fearful of what may happen next, failure to take calculated risks, and staying in your own comfort zone is a recipe for a boring, mind-numbing life where the only soaring you’ll be doing is watching others make the life they want to live.

Now is the only time to start living the no limits lifestyle. What are you waiting for?

No limits

Stop Living Small: 5 Ways To Go Far Beyond Your Comfort Zone And Live The Life You Were Meant To Live


Why Are You Living So Small?

“Life is too short to be living somebody else’s dream.”
Hugh Hefner

Are you living small?

Are you living the life you were meant to live?

Do you feel like you’re being held back from your true purpose in life?

The way we live is today far different from the way our parents and grandparents lived and as such, many of us feel lost when it comes to how we can attain our dreams. We’re looking for a way to be free yet we tie ourselves up with excuses and lies.

We live in a shell in which we protect ourselves from pain and attachment. We lose sight of the real us because we’re fearful of what to expect.

Many people avoid confrontation so they hide themselves away but secretly wish they could face life head on. They invent excuses that keep them from taking action which can bring some form of fulfillment but instead, keep them locked inside their own prison.

But what if we could embrace our innermost fears and overcome the walls we put up around us?

What if we could break out of this prison and open our hearts and minds to the wonders and beauty of the world in a way that brings pure joy and happiness to everything we do?

What’s Stopping You?

The biggest thing stopping most of us from living the life we were meant to live is fear. Fear of rejection… Fear of looking stupid… Fear of making a fool of ourselves… Fear of the unknown… but the biggest fear… is the fear of failure.

The fear is so great most people would rather not try and stay where they are than to make a concerted attempt at success than to risk failure. But failure is not the true problem here. Putting yourself out there is hard but success and happiness come with a price and if you don’t pay it you’re trapped.

Naguib Mahfouz says, “Fear does not prevent death. It prevents life.”

Your fear is preventing you from living the life you were meant to be and if you let your fears overtake your mind and heart, you will never experience what real living is all about.

Below is an infographic about how to overcome fear. Sometimes, when fear is right in front of you, there’s no other way than to face it head on.


Outwitting the Ghosts of Fear

From Visually.

But a perceived barrier to entry is when we think something stands in our way… but it’s not real. It’s only in our way because we let it be.

Are You Sabotaging Your Own Dreams?

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

What is your focus in life? Are you making the most of the talents that God has given you or are you focusing your efforts on avoiding pain or embarrassment?

It’s time you gave yourself the chance to be best you can be. It’s time you believe in yourself. You matter, you have value, and you have dignity. These are things we forget when we make the attempt to be successful. Our belief in ourselves must be front and center in your attempts to make your life better.

What I’ve seen as a life coach is how much people devalue themselves and feel stuck in life. It’s a shame how much people sabotage their chances at success.

How do we sabotage ourselves?

  1. We avoid confrontation – Instead of confronting those things that have a hold on us, we end up backing away and giving in. We live with the problems and allow it to dictate how we act. Why can’t we fight back?  You will never get what you want cowering in fear. You need to stand up for yourself and push back.
  2. We’re afraid to tackle the big stuff – Too often, we push the big stuff off for later to tackle the easy stuff right now. What’s really happening is called procrastination. Procrastination kills momentum. It’s better to prioritize and do now than to plan for perfection and never lift a finger.
  3.  Setting unrealistic expectations – Sometimes we set unrealistic expectations so we allow ourselves an excuse to fail. We can look back and say, “Well, that was too hard. Next time, I’ll try something easier.” Those unrealistic expectations are just an excuse to fail. For many people, it’s easier to fail than to succeed and have to meet those expectations the nest time.

Stop Making Excuses For Living Small

“If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space.”
Stephen Hunt

What is it about life that causes us to shy away from taking a stab at success?

I can remember many times when I wanted to do something but shied away because I feared success. That’s right. I was in fear of being successful. It was the old, “If I was successful then I’d have to continually prove that I was good enough” belief that many of us use as a n excuse.

Excuses are what living small is all about. We use them to explain away what we feel we can’t accomplish. Those excuses end up becoming boulders on our shoulders and weigh us down until we believe we can’t do anything and use the fear of failure as an excuse.

Molly Cain, a writer for Forbes Magazine relates the story of a mother who posted a sexy picture of herself in her workout gear standing next to her three young children. This woman wanted to show that she got this body because she didn’t give into excuses. She could have used the excuse she’s too busy being a mother and a career woman but instead showed what you can do when you live big.

Molly explains, “We hate to be reminded that our excuses are explaining away laziness, failure, giving up and self-doubt. They’re there when we need them and we reach to them far too often. Our excuses drive us to failure because they let us take the easy way out.”

That was me for a long time. I took the easy way out and it frustrated me to no end until I got busy and started living big. That’s when good things started to happen. I was able to get signed to a big named publishing house, I published book after book and overcame shyness because I didn’t want to be a living billboard for excuses anymore.

Molly finishes up by stating, “We all have things we could blame for derailing us in life. It’s only when you identify the excuses you’re using in life that you can really get ahead.

Who and/or what are you blaming for not living the life you want?

What are you going to do about it?

Are you going to live the rest of your life being stuck with excuses?

Here’s an inspiring quote from the actor and comedian Jim Carrey that he made at a 2014 college commencement. He explains what you need to do to go beyond that “Thinking and living small mindset” and make a difference in both yours and other peoples lives.

“You can spend your whole life imagining ghosts, worrying about the pathway to the future, but all there will ever be is what’s happening here and the decisions we make in this moment, which are based on either love or fear. So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality. What we really want seems impossibly out of reach and ridiculous to expect, so we never dare to ask the universe for it.”

Does what you want seem so far out of reach that the only way is to quit before you begin?

That’s a sad commentary on life. Why try something if we’re only gonna fail at it anyway?

Because you never know what’s gonna happen unless you try. Don’t stand on the sidelines while everyone else plays the game of life. It’s a boring place to be with no action and no happiness. Why don’t yo get into the game and see what life can offer you!!!

Jim tells us that “Like many of you, I was concerned about going out into the world and doing something bigger than myself, until someone smarter than myself made me realize that there is nothing bigger than myself. My soul is not contained within the limits of my body, my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul.”

You can fly but you have to believe you can. Don’t worry about what others say or think about you. You only have to please yourself. And since when is failure the end of everything?

You learn from your failures and go forth, always striving, always looking ahead, and giving it your best. When you live small you box yourself into a corner with your wings clipped.

The Consequences Of Living Small

“Fear is temporary. Regret is forever.”
Deirdre Van Nest

What type of signs come into play when you are living small?

I call it the “Wallflower Syndrome” and it’s exploited to the max by people who say they are too shy. Once again it’s just an excuse that helps you avoid living life to its fullest!

Here are the 5 tell-tale signs that you are living small and why you won’t change.

The first tell-tale sign is…

1-You wait for people to come to you – Instead of making the first move, you wait patiently for everyone to make the first move and if/when it doesn’t happen, you give a big sigh of relief because you don’t actually have to make any type of commitment. This way you avoid any type of confrontation.

The second tell-tale sign is…

2- You stuff your life with inconsequential things – No matter how busy you get, you gravitate to the small things such as errands, chores, to-do lists that don’t mean anything. Those things that are a big deal get pushed back all the time. You end up missing the big picture in life because you occupy your mind, your time and your life with the wrong priorities while everyone else is busy making things happen.

The third tell-tale sign is…

3- You let criticism beat you down like a hammer – Any type of criticism is like a huge billboard confirming everything you already felt about yourself. You’re not good enough, you don’t belong, and you will never amount to anything. We, that’s all bullshit! It’s just a way for you to deal with life. Stop wearing a coat of armor. It’s heavy, uncomfortable and it can’t protect you from anything real.

The fourth tell-tale sign is…

4- You’re a planner not a doer – Living small consists of small plans, small ideas and small details but they never amount to much. Why? because you never carry them out. You’re a dreamer with no concrete way to make them happen. You put up walls (excuses) everytime something comes your way. You spend your whole life planning for something that will never happen. You never take chances because you’re worried of ridicule, indifference, or worse yet, falling on your face from failure but as I am fond of saying… who cares? Get up off your ass and do something! Even if it fails at least you tried. Learn from your mistakes and carry on. You’ll be able to learn what you did wrong so you can make corrections the next time around.

The fifth and final tell-tale sign is…

5- You live in a world of escape – You’re so unhappy with the life you have, you escape to a world where you can’t fail. Your dreams are filled with actions you would never take yourself and you play the hero. To you, reality is an illusion and dreams are the real world. Every mistake, every trial and tribulation is magnified to the point where you hide away in your own magical wonderland. What’s so hard about being human and screwing up at times? We all do it. It’s those type of people who get back up and have the “Never say die attitude” that live big and get the most out of life. Isn’t that what really scares you?

What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? It’s a question you need to ask if you want to live the life you’ve always wanted.

It’s time to take off that negative mindset that’s weighing you down and just start living and moving forward. You don’t have to succeed all the time and you don’t have to go fast. As the song goes,“Put one foot in front of the other and soon you’ll be walking ‘cross the floor.”

From now on, you have to take advantage of your opportunities to live the life you were meant to live. It is the new commandment for your life!

Living Small

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